The Theology of the Body

I started today a CD series on Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body.

It's deep. It's confronting. It's looking at where you've stuffed up in the past, and what your current issues are with new eyes... but in that place of falling short, not being condemned, but being renewed (or that's the plan at least).

Mind you, I've only just finished the first CD... and in honesty, while the rewards seem great, there is still a massive journey to undergo. I've made some rather large stuff ups in the reams of what this Theology is about, at times I've lusted instead of loved (although I can honestly say that I did love too).

Ironically, I just found out that the speaker on this series, Christopher West, hails and teaches out of his base in Lancaster, PA. God only knows why I keep on hearing or reading about that city and state a couple of times a week from different sources, God only knows.

... what also sucks is looking on the site and finding the CD set I paid $80 for is free to download!... or part thereof at least - the download seems tailored at Protestants instead of Catholics whereas mine is from a Catholic retreat. I guess some of the phrasing would be different but it's not, and shouldn't be taught as a singular Catholic theology, as Mr West says - it's universal.

Facing the Facts, but thankful for them

I went to have a look at "My" house this afternoon. Before that though I had a visit to my Mortgage Broker and thankfully heard that my Credit Rating was perfect (this was the horrid feeling I encountered yesterday after my Nanna Nap - I had no idea what it was, and had never before actually cared).

The sad thing about my visit to my Broker was that my borrowing capacity is a bit less than I thought = which means that the house I went to visit is a few grand outside of my budget. sigh. While online agents will loan the amount I need, I've also decided I just don't want to loan that much.

At the end of the day though, as I reflect, I'm not too downhearted. In fact, I'm thankful. I'm thankful that my goals are now clearer. I'm thankful that a friend has already said she'd live with me should I buy a place (which would help any mortgage) and I'm thankful that I know about my credit rating.

Yes, I still like the house more than any I've seen, but that's ok too... whatever will be will be, and neither my money, nor my days are my own.

I have no idea

I woke from my Sunday "nanna nap" with a horrid feeling.

So, I've requested a report on what I need to know, and now wait 1 business day to find out the results. I hate waiting, but at least I've done something proactive to find out the answer.

Great news too - my niece and nephew are coming up this evening to stay - YEAH!! I'm going to be Aunty Liz for a few days :)

Adrenaline Rush & A House

It's been a bit since I last blogged and I'm slowly starting to feel more like myself after the flu... have been really quite down and I was seriously thinking of going back to my Dr and getting back on those happy pills.. thankfully there's no need though and the flu is all that was to blame.

I've just gotten home from Journey to the Centre of the Earth at the cinema. I'm very glad for two things

1. That I went alone (for anyone that's ever sat through a scary movie with me you'll know why!)
2. That I didn't go and see the 3D edition down in Brisbane

As it was in 2D I provided a few laughs for people around me with my squirms and one time big scream (*blush*)... it was worth it though and I'm now sitting on a very nice adrenaline rush - yes, the movie was P.G. , which is perhaps one of the reasons why I'd never watch a horror flick.

To pick up on the other point in the title - I'm looking at a house that I really like on Monday to perhaps purchase. I spoke to the agent today and went around just to look at it before I go through the property with him. A neighbor was outside watering her garden and we had a great chat for about 15 minutes about the street and the house and I feel really nice about it.. we shall see though. It's at the top of my price range and I'd like to get it for cheaper.

Food, Flowers and Festival

Tonight, at great surprise to myself, I decided to take up a friend's invitation and head out to the Flower, Food and Wine Festival which is being held as part of our Carnival of Flowers. I got there early, milled around looking at the stalls and had a really fun night (Johnny Diesel was the lead act, and I must admit I only knew 3 of the songs from this 1980's hit artist!).

I'm writing about the event though for one reason - it was an answer to prayer. Not the whole night, although it was a good thing to get me out and socializing with some great friends, but specifically one conversation.

I had a great conversation with someone who I've chatted to a few times before. Each time I'm able to talk about philosophical and theological things that not many other people really discuss (not in my "circle" anyway). Each time I've really enjoy connecting with the other person. What was so good though, and very enjoyable, AND an answer to prayer was this: I've been asking God to give me something to have conviction about. I'm so tossed by this thing that's happening, or that thing... but I don't have a "passion" or cause... or vocation. Something that energizes beyond the laziness.

I want my life to mean something.

Tonight's discussion about C.S. Lewis and The Theology of the Body and Henri Nouwen was refreshing for the one reason that it reminded me what I love about thinking... pure and simple... and more so, what I love about God and the way he has made us to think, and experience, and love, and BE.

The dream of being chased last night reversed on me... instead of being pursued by someone and that feeling that you can't get away remaining when I woke, I was the one chasing someone. I was looking for them, asking friends if they knew where they were - I was directed to one room where they were, opened the door only for them to dissapear in a "poof" of magical dust swirling around, echoing with laughter around me... forever out of my reach.

My efforts to understand

I tackle a topic tonight which I understand is complex.

I won't be able to comprehend all that I'm reading, I won't be able to understand the ramifications of all that I say... but I do want to start somewhere.

Today the largest trial in Australia's history on "Terrorism" was concluded. According to the Sydney Melbourne Herald:

Benbrika and five of his followers were found guilty in Australia's biggest terrorism trial. Four more men were acquitted and a decision on the final two accused is expected in the Melbourne court today.

Over seven months the jury heard evidence on 27 charges from more than 50 witnesses. The Crown's case included 482 covertly recorded conversations.

They heard allegations that Benbrika had plotted to carry out terrorist attacks on the 2005 AFL grand final and the 2006 NAB Cup, and on Melbourne's Crown Casino on the Grand Prix weekend in 2006.

I can't comprehend why people would be willing to do this. According to CNN:

He [Benbrika] allegedly told them [his followers] that at an attack needed to kill at least 1,000 people to achieve this aim, and that it was permissible to kill women, children and the elderly.

Yet, according to the "Rules of Jihad" listed on the BBC, a jihad (where defined as a Muslim Holy War) must follow very strict rules in order to be legitimate, many of which were not planned to be followed:

• The opponent must always have started the fighting.
• It must not be fought to gain territory.
• It must be launched by a religious leader.
• It must be fought to bring about good - something that Allah will approve of.
• Every other way of solving the problem must be tried before resorting to war.
• Innocent people should not be killed.
• Women, children, or old people should not be killed or hurt.
• Women must not be raped.
• Enemies must be treated with justice.
• Wounded enemy soldiers must be treated in exactly the same way as one's own soldiers.
• The war must stop as soon as the enemy asks for peace.
• Property must not be damaged.
• Poisoning wells is forbidden. The modern analogy would be chemical or biological warfare.

So - what we have here is not some Holy War... it's people using a term for their own means, to justify, to gain support, to condone.

What kind of world do we live in where people can twist the very essence of what something is to turn it to their own means? How have we become so complacent that we do this to ourselves?

Yet, we do it all the time. I do it.

marriage - where "until death do we part" becomes "until it's just not working for me"
purchase by credit - where we buy something with money we don't have
church - I'm not even going to start on this one

I could go on... and on... and on... not even covering words that we take for granted and use without thought - like, love, gay, awesome, fantastic

I'm horrified (defined as "stricken with horror") about what is happening in terms of people calling "Jihad" and doing so against their own religion (especially considering the devastation that their actions could cause to so many). But what about our own hypocrisies? I want to use words for what they are - to mean what they should - to define what they are intended to define.

Where does it all end? I'm not sure I want to think about that tonight - i do believe in our own lives that God's ends justify his means... but we're not God - our means should never be justified by what we foresee to be the conclusion - we have no idea what those might be.

Blessed

I was immensely blessed this evening by two incredibly generous and loving friends who came over and cooked me dinner. Kirstie mentioned that she had put a corned-beef on to cook before work, and when I was tentative about venturing out this evening to eat it suggested that she and her flat mate Melinda come over with it instead.

I feel so cared for. So loved. So appreciated.

Here is a point of confusion though - Here are two of the most outstanding women I know - Kirstie who is flamboyant and funny and fabulous as all get out - Melinda who is gentle and cultured and so incredibly sweet - both smart, great jobs as teachers, pretty, & wonderful families.. why are they still single? What is the go with all the eligible men?

I know of too many other ladies like them, godly women, strong women (but not too strong) feminine and gracious.. and single. I am honoured to be their friend and as such wish them one day to have a partner that will appreciate them as they deserve.

The top drawer

Have you ever noticed that when, in movies, people want to take something off the desk they always put it in the top drawer? And when they do, there's hardly anything to see in that drawer... almost as if that drawer's only intended purpose is for taking documents off the desk they don't want people to see.

I've been thinking on a few applications for this analogy, but aren't going to write about any of them - just state that none of my top drawers have ever been empty.

Emma is dreaming... she's laying down on the ground below me and has let off a few growls into mid air. It's been a real comfort having her to stay, last night she even got the honor of sleeping on a sheet (which covered the carpet) in my room. I had a bad coughing fit and when she'd ascertained that I was in fact alright, went and posted herself at the doorway as if to say "it's ok, I'll make sure you're safe". The bonus is that she didn't get me up in the night and as far as I can tell, didn't have any "accidents" - not too bad for a big black Labrador used to a farm.

Finally - I'll end tonight's blog with this - It's my mom's birthday today. I'm so very, very, very thankful God foresaw to grant her to me, and for me to be born by her. She's one amazing lady that I am honored to know, am blessed to be loved by, and inspired to be more like.

Facebook Photos

A friend rang before and let me know that a mutual friend had posted some photos on Facebook of the dancing at the wedding... this, while bound to happen, is still a moment of possible embarrassment knowing my Facebook friend has posted some awful photos of people in the past!

I'm posting this shot of me undoing my hair in the name of full disclosure... perhaps in an attempt to forget the photo of Cathy and I "singing" (and I use that term loosely) RESPECT along with Aretha Franklin...

Still sick.

Melancholy Thinking

Melancholy thoughts are apt to hit one when you're sick. I don't mean in terms of dying, but rather, in terms of living. I walked into my father's study today and looked at photos that he has displayed in pride of place from when we were living in the Philippines and people that he served with. 20 + years ago my parents gave up a considerable portion of their lives to serve and serve with others whom they continue to keep in contact with and honor.

I wonder what of purpose I am now doing. My parents have pictures of these people and photos of family members decorating the house - I have paintings and charcoal drawings and little pottery salt and pepper shakers that hug.

It's no secret that I want a family of my own. Regardless of the facts that surround this though, if that blessing is never given to me, how am I living, and what am I living for? Even whilst working voluntarily I questioned this - I'm more satisfied in my current job than I was in HK - so that's not the answer.

I just don't know what is. The melancholy thinking will pass as I get better (the drugs and rest and water are already working), but I hope the drive does not. I want to be compelled to make the most of my life.

P.s. I have the best friend - she's bringing her cat or her dog over to stay with me :) Emma (who I've written of previously) is a very beautiful Labrador and Tiger is a ginger (surprise surprise) cat who I named and have formed some attachment with... Tiger though is used to roaming the farm and perhaps will not come up to town due to the foreseeable problem of escaping into the big wide world of city life and being corrupted never to return to the comforts of home.

Dressing Gowns and Tissues

I'm sick. Officially sick. My doctor has put me on cortisone tablets, antibiotics and an influenza drug that I inhale... As I'm contagious I'm off work which is really horrible - believe it or not, I want to be at work especially after my holiday.

So I'm at home watching the West Wing (which is much nicer than yesterday where I couldn't get out of bed) - at the part where Leo has a heart attack up at Camp David - and snuggled up into a dressing gown that a dear friend gave me. I'm really glad that spring has come as our back porch is also delightful to sit on - birds singing and the gerberas are in beautiful flower.

I hate being sick, but I don't regret my holiday at all!

Back Home

I'm sick :( was sent home from work today as I was fairly ill and while there's so much that I want to write about my trip I'm apprehensive that any attempt will fall short of the mark due to my current state. I'll make the effort though:

Hong Kong is such an amazing place. When I got off the plane and started exploring again I wondered if I could move there once more... the conclusion I've come to is no. It's my ideal holiday, perhaps an awesome place to visit once a year or two to go back to a place that is familiar yet so different to my current life - great friends are there too which really helps. My conclusion is based upon the thought that working and living in HK is great - as long as you've got the money to keep up with the Jones - and at the end of the day I don't want to live that lifestyle. In Toowoomba I can keep regular hours at work, I have clean air, I have an amazing mix between city and country - in Hong Kong it's great to party, but the contrast between poverty and pleasure is so extreme that I don't know if I could be settled unless doing charity work.

The one comment that I heard most frequently was that I looked "relaxed" - was a pleasant thing to hear! As my stay continued though, I felt more and more caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, it was great, but stressful.

I managed to keep to my restriction of not eating pork or shellfish - absolutely astounding! I never made it up to the Peak (and my fav. restaurant) or to have that Lychee martini, but I don't have any regrets.

This photo for me just about sums up the luxury of Hong Kong - this one and the one of the $200,000 phone - hand made and pure gold... now imagine the feeling of dropping that in a beer eskie as I did with my last one!

Fidee Fidee La!

In the cantonese expression of hurry hurry, I write this blog in a transit lounge as my flight is boarding and my time limit on the computer is expiring.

Looking forward to uploading photos - an AMAZING wedding, with a splendid par-tay afterwards, I don't think I've ever danced with such "abandon"and had a great deal of fun... a guy even asked for my contact details which rejects the thought I'm a pariah :)

Didn't sleep on the flight so might not go into work this afternoon - heaps of luggage including copious amounts of alcohol for my brother.

All is well in the land of somewhere smiling and 30 seconds remaining!

Where to start

I have no idea where to start. Perhaps this is one of those blogs best written in point form:

• The service at St Andrews was amazing. The sermon was deep and interesting and with great context, the worship was poignant (and not too loud!) and it was probably the best part of my trip
• Lunch with Daniel and Carolyn was wonderful
• I was 2.5 hours late for Debbie's Dim Sum (oops!) and actually missed the whole thing and came when people were leaving
• I saw someone there who has the nack of really, really hurting me. The same person that I've previously written about forgivness. Let's just say that they managed to twist that knife in my gut - good work by God not undone though. We've reached the understanding (God and I) that while we need to love everyone) we don't have to like everyone. This person fits into this category - I wish them the best, but probably better for me not to have anything to do with them!
• Was like being home - I had some time to kill and so walked in to Phil and Sue's to sit on thier couch and watch Season 2 of Heros :) Phil walked in and we had a good chat
• Was awesome seeing people like Mike and Helen (with a beautiful baby bump!) - thanks for the comment guys :) and really looking forward to catching up with people tonight
• Had a lovely, interesting dinner with Kara with much honest discussion
• Got home, slept, woke up early this morning and now over in TST horrified that shops don't open until after I need to be at the church to help set up (at 10:30!) ... so much for buying my beautiful thing :(
• I got given a wedding gift yesterday!!! Tea cups from Debbie that she got given and so has given them to me in advance... I'm not so sure about the advance thing but I'm very happy to keep them because they're simply lovely
• Signing off now

I wish...

I wasn't here alone.




Now that's said and done with, last night was absolutely fabulous! Catching up with Pete, Richard, Bethan and Sheila at Inn Side Out was certianly a highlight of this trip. With some very funny times added in (e.g. I couldn't figgure out why my food was so hot, and then half way through relised that the funny green things weren't olives but Jalapinios... Peter and his camera "Once I start taking photos I just can't put it away!")

Busy day today - I've just walked passed St John's church for memories sake, and am off to my own church St Andrews where I'll be meeting Daniel and Carolyn for lunch afterwards. I've then got Dim Sum for Craig and Debbie at 2pm (which I know I'll be late for!) and following that meeting up with Helen Mottee and then having dinner with Kara - I'll sleep well tonight. Dim Sum should be interesting... I have managed not to eat pork or shellfish during my stay thus far - I think it's unavoidable at Dim Sum though! Shall give it a go.

The Best Hens Night EVER

In the two and ... years that I spent in Hong Kong I never went on a junk. Last night, at Deb's Hen's night I had the amazing opportunity to do so, and loved every minute of it.

We launched from Aberdeen and anchored in Deep Water Bay with champagne flowing freely and delicious food. I thought they were joking that the top level had beds to lie down on, but it really did! Little floor level mats that you could sit on and just enjoy the time with great friends in an incredible atmosphere... so relaxing!

And yes, there are photos coming :)

I'm sitting here at MIX (again) enjoying my quiche in Harbour City after getting to the Ladies Market 3 hours before it opened. Hong Kong is not the city for early morning starts, and one of the disadvantages of living here previously is that I don't check the guide books... hence the trip over to TST instead of hanging around in Mong Kok.

Hong Kong is a city to experience. I'd forgotten the smells, the business, how nice it is just to walk by an airconditioned shop in relief of the humidity, the open air street markets selling chicken meat, how easy it is to get lost, the air conditioning systems that drip on you as you walk on the street beneath them... and then the blissful peace and serenity of going somewhere quite and still. Hong Kong truly is an amazing city. I'm enjoying being a visitor.

I'm heading out to Causeway Bay this afternoon to go to my fav. pub Inn Side Out where I shall certianly enjoy a Fullers Organic Honey Dew beer or two. I'm really looking forward to catching up with a few mates there.

Finally, I've decided that instead of buying small little trinkets for myself during my stay I'm going to buy one big thing. Something beautiful to really appreciate and commemorate this trip by.

One Year Later

The title of this blog could apply to many things, one year since I've been in Hong Kong, one year since I've been overseas, one year since I was broken up with... This trip falls on the anniversary of all of these things.

It was inevitable that I'd go through certian emotions during my stay, I love Hong Kong and some of the best memories I have were made here. You don't just throw this out. I am however, very thankful that I can remember at the moment without the pain. This morning for instance I went to my fav. take-a-way store for breakfast. MIX. The last time I was in that store in Central was with him, he was the one that opened the door for me, he was the one I talked with. This morning was different, obviously (I shared the time with Barb), but thankfully the shaddow of good memories has not detracted, perhaps only enhanced the experience and made me realise how much I've grown over the past year.

Back to the trip though - I've arrived! I do hate flying, but God was very gracious in giving me two lovely ladies in the same row with a seat between us and while the turbulance was aweful, I'm here safe and sound and that's all that matters. 8 hours of a high heart rate and anxiety levels are not fun :(

It's not often that my expectations are exceeded. With my hotel they are though, which is a wonderful bonus - a showerhead the size of a dinner plate, lovely crisp fresh room, clean, marble, and one of the 6 cheapest hotels to stay that was listed on Expedia. The bed is as hard as most HK beds are (for those who haven't experienced this, imagine lying on cussioned concrete and you're about there) but the linen is lovely 400+ thread count! (Goodness me - I've turned into such a snob)

I'm about to go out to a birthday lunch with a friend at the nearby hotel, then will go home for a snooze before hopping on a Chinese Junk tonight for the Hens party - my oh my I'm looking forward to that!

I'm still a little ill, but it's manageable, and I'm sure you're probably board by now so I'll sign off!

Before I go though - I really really really love Hong Kong...I'm just wondering how I'll go with the whole no pork no seafood thing that I've stuck to for the past 11 months...

The night before

Off to Hong Kong tomorrow :)

I'm starting to get excited. I often get excitement and anxiousness mixed up - I diagnose one as the other, often I'm excited and I think it's anxious and then because I think I'm anxious I actually get REALLY anxious. But forget all that, the anxiousness is dissapearing and for now I'm just excited, and a little tired from the rush rush rush in trying to finish up everything at work (about to head back into the office to finish up a few things and participate in an information night).

I can't wait to see everyone and do all the things I mentioned in this post back in January! If I've double booked I apologise now - It will be a busy time! :)

... should you never hear from me again some fate that I fear has befallen me - otherwise stay tuned for the next exciting adventure of Somewhere Smiling!

A challenge and a thanks

I go to a salon once a month for a few "girly" things and tonight I got my hair cut for the first time in a very, very long time... unfortunately, along with the space in blogging I've also taken a break from photographs so there are none from this period, but trust me in saying it grew to a length not seen falling from my cranium since the early '00's.

I have a really good relationship with my beautician, we chat most of the appointment and get along really well. I've been challenged though in the question of, "do I conform to her standards, or does my difference in life choices, specifically my Christianity show through?"

A friend once showed me how important it was to be honest, more so, REAL in who we are. I'm happy with how I'm following his example, but I question if I'm actually following Christ's in my actual living. Is my being "real" actually detracting from Christ? Is my lifestyle one that speaks more highly of the world I live in or the Christ that I serve? I'm not so sure...

Anyway, Mom has seen that I'm writing a blog and has asked to be mentioned kindly in it - I respond in following: "How could I not speak kindly of you? You brought me a fabulous lunch out to work today just to spend time with me and blessed me even more by the book you gave me (50 things to do on an airplane). I came home to a meal that was cooked and fabulous conversation and I really do think I have the best mom in the world."

fReaKing oUt

I hate flying – it’s not natural – I did it too much as a kid and the novelty’s worn off – It equates to one really long rollercoaster ride, and I dislike even the short theme park rides

Unfortunately, sailing to locations isn’t an option on either my budget or my timeframes, so flight it is

I’ve been freaking out a little bit about Thursday’s flight

Freaking out about flying may have led to paranoia about other things

I have a rash on my leg that’s moved

I obviously haven’t reached that plane of Christian living where one is happy to die.