Tired eyes

Being a person of rather eclectic hobbies I get rather excited when I am close to "tying off" something that I start. The weekend past helped me in one of my current and long continuing endeavors, as, for quite sometime I've slowly been collecting the "Billabong" books by Mary Grant Bruce and I was able to add three more to my bookshelf. They're an older series and best read in an early edition format as they were re-printed later on in life to be more politically correct... and I'd rather not read that edited tosh! Being older books they've been a bit hard to find and I'm glad to say that I now only have two more of the 15 books in the series to add to my bookshelf - quite a feat if I do say so myself.

One of my favorite things is a book that my brother gave me on stories of collectible books and this journey is part of my own sojourn... I've always had a thing for books with history (which is why his gift was so thoughtful), and it's nice to have almost completed a collection to add to my collection. The end is in sight too - I know where the other two can be found :)

The reason for my Title though is this, I've never finished reading the series. I've made myself read book by book through the titles, and until I can buy/find the next one I can't move on. So, after finding three more books (which opens the possibility of 7 more) I've been reading in many of my quiet moments, just dying to find out what happens with Norah, Wally, Jim and Mr Linton. And my eyes are tired because I've been reading so much!

It's also helped me keep my mind off many other things. You see - I've been a bit of a turtle recently and reading has helped process things subconsciously when I've had no idea about how to get through things otherwise. I haven't cried recently, even though I know that a big cry would probably do me good - but thinking that Jim had died made me shed a tear. Wally has made me hope and dream and feel. Norah has made me think of others and Mr Linton has made me wonder how I can give more generously. Books can be an escape, and these books are a healthy one for me right now. They're pure.

When I'm incessantly busy I know that there's something not quite right - this is now... but I also know that if I can push through for another week there's rest ahead. And I'm thankful too for the knowledge that I can Lie Here and God's grace will carry me through and provide me with things like Billabong to help me be a bit more like Galatians 5:22-23 and not 5:19-21 (which I'm afraid I tend more towards :(

I've been listening to the following song quite a bit and it's a nice thing to ponder as I close the computer lid and head off to the land of nod to be a viking (Simpsons quote that a friend shared with me and still makes me smile) (and yes, I tonight, like my hobbies, have been rather eclectic and scattered in thought! - the truth is I was hoping I'd be able to write about something else I've been pondering but this came through my brain and out my fingers instead (!)

Can I lie here in Your arms
Can I lie here in Your arms
My only calm is You
Save me

Can I lie here in Your arms
Can I lie here in Your arms
My only thought is You
Save me

Can I lie here in Your arms
Can I lie here in Your arms
My happiness is You
Save me

Oh how lovely this place
To be with You
To be with You

Oh the brightness of Your face
Here with You
Here with You

Oh my only calm is You
Oh my only thought is You
Oh my happiness is You
Oh my happiness is You

To be with You
To be with You
Save me

(Lyrics by David Crowder: Can I Lie Here)

Bitter Sweet End

For the past three months more or less our family has journeyed through some pretty tough times - perhaps tougher because it was "closed door" and unable to be shared with those around us - or at least for me unless they lived outside of where I do now and weren't connected to anyone here.

It culminated in an event this morning and which left me feeling exceptionally proud of my family - parents especially. The reason is this: When one goes through times which are bitter and tough, to share of them with a large group not giving vent to that pain but bringing release and sweetness of words instead is an incredible thing. This is what my Dad did.

I'm very proud of him, very proud of my mom and very thankful to God - He gives joy when least expected. For example, this morning before stepping out the door I went to fix my hair and noticed that my mom had muck all through hers - my expanding mousse was mistaken for hairspray and it was everywhere! In the carpet, on her shoes - expanding away. It was good though, because while she wanted to look fabulous, instead she was given something to laugh at whenever she felt otherwise and so was I - especially when her hair turned stiff and straw-like :)

God is the God of the ironic, laughable and joyful - and once again tonight I am very thankful for that. We have a choice in these moments - it could have been a crying day, instead though, we're all smiling.

Equine Angels

For the third Saturday in a row I left my bed before 5:00am, today to help out at a Horse Show and Sale. The requirements were that to sell your horse you needed to show them before hand, and as I've been so busy lately, my help unfortunately came with the problem that I couldn't handle the horse beforehand - just turn up and show.

While I've had a fair bit of experience with horses, I can with an unfamiliar, inexperienced, young or nervous horse become quite skittish myself - unfortunately - this horse had all four qualities. While usually very quiet, the experience of being in a show/sale environment got to his head (I can imagine moreso considering the float was hit by a car on the way there, jack-knifing the float and causing them all a great deal of fright, but thankfully no injury). Well, after we led the wee one away from his friends he went "ape *&^%" - rearing and having quite a few issues.

So, I prayed. I prayed that angels would be with us as we were in the ring, calming him and helping me not make it so that prospective buyers would be put off buying him. He usually is a quite horse and he was young and just very over it! I was incredibly thankful when we came out of the ring with him not disgracing either of us.

The other angelic moment was when one of the guys there went in and walked a horse around before sale for another one of the guys. He saw a need, stepped in, offered and helped. There was something in that awareness and care for others, along with the ability to help that deeply impressed me.

Our three horses showed (at well below what they were worth, but to competitive homes which offsets the price) and to my great delight the two geldings who had been raised together as paddock mates and stable mates and all round good mates went to the same home - which in an auction situation with 100 other horses was an awesome thing. I was a bit emotional at the thought of them parting and when I found out that they were going to the same home I must admit that I was much relieved.

Oh - and for people that were interested - the artwork I'm purchasing will look something very much like this: Click Here

No Clothes and Happy

No, I haven't joined a nudist colony or any other such thing... I've bought a painting - the price of which will greatly restrict my purchasing of clothing for the remainder of the year.

After coming home from Canberra (note: very, very thankful for that time and while there were challenges of which I wrote, there was also some extraordinary moments and new friendships which were formed - and for which I am very thankful) I developed a cold :( starting with an extraordinary sore throat. Considering the woman's camp I was speaking at was that weekend I was tired, sick and perhaps a little worried.

On Saturday we went to Mooloolaba and popped into an art gallery. It was there that I saw "Glory" a painting of a sunrise over the ocean. The artist in his description of it speaks of the hope which is in new day, even if we don't see the sun rise and how the colours changed so fast he felt God laughing at him "see if you can keep up with me David". The painting has joy and life and expression.

The original was out of my price range, however, the Curator noticed my interest and asked me if I would be interested in commissioning a smaller work of the same subject. "Yes!" was my reply, but that I would think on it overnight. I'm glad I did. I watched that evening a DVD of the Author and read more on his works - he uses some symbols within his artwork - one of them being a trumpet. The trumpet is a herald instrument and he uses it to symbolise the call which each of us have on our lives and the things which we are passionate about. In this stage of my life this was a very meaningful symbol, so when I went back to confirm my commissioned work, I asked if the artist could paint a trumpet where he signs his name. She called, he said he loved the idea and thus I will get it in my painting. Every new day there is hope (regardless of whether we see or feel it) and the call on our lives is still there. There's a lot more to this painting and the layers of meaning that I won't share here but I'm rather glad I won't be buying any more clothes this year!

The women's camp and talk went well too :)

I am now home for the day though with my contagious cold drinking hot lemon, ginger, cinnamon and honey tea with english muffins - maybe being sick isn't sooo bad???

change of plans

Sometimes we can have romantic illusions as to what servant-hood is. I’ll be able to do “___” or “_____” or such and such will think so well of me we think with rosy and perhaps tainted glasses. Then... we find ourselves in a true place of humility where what we want falls to the wayside and what we need to do comes to the fore.

In the midst of an extraordinarily busy month I was really looking forward to coming down to the Conference I am now at – to sit and listen at the feet of people whom I greatly respect and help out here and there (where I choose to of course – my boss after all said I could do as little or much as I wanted). I had thoughts of in my spare time writing up some things that are in my brain and in the hecticness of the moment haven’t been able to write them out yet. Bits and pieces from things I’ve read but haven’t worked through fully... I had plans.

On Saturday night two of my brother’s good friends and I had just poured three amazingly tantalising glasses of red wine from a bottle. There they sat, and there they stayed... untouched, untasted, unappreciated. The night ended very differently with a late night trip to the hospital which changed the outlook for this time away for me.

I’ve struggled with this change, even though I see God’s hand of providence that I came and am able to assist in the shoes of the staff member who is ill. Sometimes we need to ramp up and serve in a different way to meet the needs that are evident, even if that means making cups of tea for others when you want one desperately yourself or readjusting the framework of your planning to lend a hand... and trust that God will take care of you.

I still have so many questions I really want to ask these guys. I want guidance from them – I want to learn from them – I want to listen to them... but I also need to get my thoughts in order and be less than the emotional wreck that I feel inside to do so... but again, neither of these things are possible.