driving to nowhere and ending up somewhere

I got in my little car and drove this morning with no destination in mind, started on my favorite highway, turned down a few unknown roads end ended up in a glorious valley in the middle of nowhere... I just needed to get out, to reflect and to come to terms with a few things. More than that though, my heart's been quite focused on something lately and I needed to get some perspective. I needed to have peace that knew whatever happens, it's all going to be good, either way. To tell God that I do trust him, and to have him speak to my heart with no other voices going through my head.

So I got in the car and drove my car places it should not drive to... and through water and rocky roads that a wee little city car like mine should not go :) and it was good.

I parked in a National Park (note for the future though: tell someone before you get out of mobile range where in Australia you actually ended up, which direction you went and well.. the fact that you've gone!!) and, as I had no idea that I'd end up there, said "stuff safety" and proceeded to hike in my open toed dress sandles and shorts.

All the way along I just wanted to sit by water and reflect, so you can imagine how amazed I was when around the first corner I came by this view.

It looks prettier in real life. Breathcatchingly so.

I sat on a rock. Reflected. Prayed. Came to Peace... and then drove home in half the time :)

This week will be huge, but I'm so thankful for the opportunity I had today. I'm also thankful that whenever whatever happens, my perspective has shifted once more where it's supposed to be. Focus on the highest point and all the rest falls into place with clarity.

Like a shadow over the heart bad news cometh...

This afternoon I got some news that made me just want to go for a walk in the rain. . . which I did.

The birds still sung when the rain had stopped, my dog still wagged his tail and nothing fundementally has changed in my life. I still feel really sad though for my friend and her family. Sad is not the word. Gut-renched is more like it.

Thanksgiving.

I had a really, really sucky day today. As I type this I feel like curling in a ball and watching something that makes me laugh, or feel special, or even just cared for. Which is crazy – because I know I’m fun, I am special and more than that I’m cherished.

I’m just finding it hard to see the good things right now after a really hard day at work, and a few personal things cropping up too.

Ironically, tomorrow night I’m holding Thanksgiving. Big Turkey, heaps of people, the works.

I decided to have this because too often we forget to be thankful. We don’t stop. We don’t reflect. We don’ t just even pause to say thank you. And when we do we soon forget, just like I’ve done with the end of this week. There’ve been some fabulous points throughout this week, some great laughs with a friend, some happy moments of encouragement and being blessed in return, an incredible weekend and holiday before that – and yet, too soon in the business of the week and the suckiness of my day I’ve forgotten.

Pause, remember the good, be thankful = the resolution to a bad day.

Perspective

I've signed up to do a "Team Penning" course on the weekend, which, is probably not the best of ideas all round considering my need to further de-stress before school goes back. Especially as the trainer is one of Queensland's best riders...

By Sunday night I'll have been in the saddle four days straight.

Basically, I've been defeating myself in my mind before I even get there. I want to appear good. I want to win. I want to show I can handle myself. I want to be liked.

Interestingly though, I had a wake up call while praying about it. A wake up call which was obviously needed. Instead of the "I" focus, my perspective needs to change - simply - that God might be glorified in my actions, whether I make a fool of myself or not. It's how I react to what happens that counts. My example - my attitude - and my reflection of Jesus is what matters. Especially in a community which knows very little of him. Yes, have fun, yes be myself, yes feel free to joke and have a beer - but endevour to let God shine instead of have others think well of I.

The rest can learn to live with whatever happens... and soak in the bath afterwards!