I have a skewed perspective. I often think the worst situation will happen, or that someone who has always been faithful will be unfaithful. That I will let people down or that people won’t “perform” as I’d expect and I’ll be disappointed.
No matter how history has proved otherwise, I still doubt, not only others and myself but also God.
It’s a wrong perspective, and one I want to fix, but I know I can’t alone. It’s there for whatever reason and I need God, by his Grace to change my perspective. Part of the reason I know is tied into the fear I hold on to in my life, partly because it’s always nicer to think the worst and then be surprised by something better, and in many ways I think its also part of my perception of God.
It's a damaging habit though, and one I'm not proud of.
I know that God is loving. I know that he is patient. I know that he is generous. I know that he won’t give a stone when we ask for bread. I know from my privileged Western background he’s always been faithful. I know that he invented the concept of Grace. I still resent some of the challenges though, and I question this image of God when I see the tragedy so many go through, and I struggle with the “problem of pain”… or famine… or war.
I still think at times that God will let me go. That he won't run after the 100th sheep, that he won't welcome the Prodigal Son.
In light of this ongoing battle, lack of trust and abundance of insecurity I was really encouraged by this song of Matt and Beth Redman’s, along with the story behind it:
You Never Let Go (Even Though I Walk)
Verse 1:
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
Your perfect love is casting out fear.
And even when I'm caught
in the middle of the storms of this life,
I won't turn back, I know You are near.
PreChorus:
And I will fear no evil,
For my God is wi th me.
And if my God is with me,
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?
Chorus:
Oh no, you never let go,
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, you never let go,
In every high and every low
O no, you never let go
Lord, you never let go of me.
Verse 2:
And I can see a light
that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare.
And there will be an end
to these troubles, But until that day comes,
We'll live to know You here on the earth.
Bridge:
Yes, I can see a light that is coming
for the heart that holds on,
And there will be an end to these troubles,
but until that day comes,
Still I will praise You,
still I will praise You.
©2005 Thankyou Music (Admin. by EMI Christian Music Publishing)
Listen to this song here:
http://chrisleigh.vox.com/library/audio/6a00cd97014dcc4cd500d41424e8ae3c7f.html
An interview with Matt Redman covering this song can be found at:
http://www.christianitytoday.com/music/interviews/2007/mattredman-mini-0207.html
