Streeetttcchheeedd... and more flexible than prevously thought

I'm home. I'm safe. I'm still going through in my mind one of the most challenging experiences in my life.

I'm very tempted to go into the aspects of this challenge, but due to specifics which would need to be mentioned I won't - suffice it to say that I've often wondered if I would have the patience to be a mom and not lose my temper and continue to love and show love - tonight proved that I have more patience and can express an even temper far better than I ever thought possible. While I still have my doubts, I've experienced first hand God's grace in parenting (or pseudo parenting) situations. I can also perform first aid on a screaming, overtired child on the side of a highway.

I've been thinking a lot about Romans 5:3-5:

³Moreover [let us also be full of joy now!] let us exult and triumph in our troubles and rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that pressure and affliction and hardship produce patient and unswerving endurance. ⁴And endurance (fortitude) develops maturity of character (approved faith and tried integrity). And character [of this sort] produces [the habit of] joyful and confident hope of eternal salvation. ⁵Such hope never disappoints or deludes or shames us, for God's love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who has been given to us.

In one situation where I consider this verse I'm encouraged, because I know that the suffering one person I dearly love is going through lines up with what this scripture says. And they're able to handle it better than they could have because of experiences in the past. Yes, it's hard. Yes I've never seen this person suffering as they are now. I've never had to carry the load for them in the way I am now - yes, it's heartbreaking, but I can stand in confidence on this verse and many others in my prayers - that they would be encouraged and uplifted and redeemed...

In the other situation which is on my heart so much tonight, I can't see any application for this scripture. The participants are too young. The experience that they're going through too painful to contemplate and I am far from being able to see any good in it or coming from it...

The thing is - both situations impacted my afternoon and evening and God was in that and helped me learn things I would never have otherwise.... so really, I should be encouraged - but instead, while I'd love to say something happy and uplifting - the truth of the matter is... well.... tonight I'd sell a hug for 5c, and I'm about 12 hours off rejoicing in my, or anyone else's suffering.

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