The trees outside have just started to drop their Autumn leaves the past few days and walking through them tonight whilst walking Jake their melancholy presence matched my mood. It's been a long week.

I had a dinner party on Thursday night in which a conversation cropped up between three of us as to why one participant did not Believe. Simply, it was this: I like the morality of Christianity, the standards of servanthood and generosity are those that I aspire to. I reckon there is something higher out there than us humans, but if there is, and I live my life as good as I can, obey the ten commandments, I reckon it'll be good enough.

Walking in after my walk, pondering on this conversation, the falling leaves and the fact of a farewell party tonight for the said conversant which I won't be attending I heard the following song playing on my iTunes:

Oh the best I have to give is not enough for me to live, that's why I thank you, I thank you for the cross. Bleeding hands have paved the way, it's not enough for me to say, but I thank you, I thank you for the cross.

I pray for my friend, that some day he might know the love and reality of Jesus. The "remarkable, supernatural love" that Napoleon speaks of in the following quote (found within Jesus Among Other Gods page 149 on Google Books:

Yet, in an extraordinarily staggering statement about Jesus Christ, Napoleon said something that is almost unexcelled by any political leader. I quote it at length because of its incredible insight. ... Napoleon expressed these thoughts while he was exiled on the rock of St. Helena. There, the conqueror of civilized Europe had time to reflect on the measure of his accomplishments. He called Count Montholon to his side and asked him, "Can you tell me who Jesus Christ was?" The count declined to respond. Napoleon countered:

QUOTE

Well then, I will tell you. Alexander, Caesar, Charlemagne and I myself have founded great empires; but upon what did these creations of our genius depend? Upon force. Jesus alone founded His empire upon love, and to this very day millions will die for Him.... I think I understand something of human nature; and I tell you, all these were men, and I am a man: none else is like Him; Jesus Christ was more than man.... I have inspired multitudes with such an enthusiastic devotion that they would have died for me.... but to do this it was necessary that I should be visibly present with the electric influence of my looks, my words, of my voice. When I saw men and spoke to them, I lighted up the flame of self-devotion in their hearts.... Christ alone has succeeded in so raising the mind of man toward the unseen, that it becomes insensible to the barriers of time and space. Across a chasm of eighteen hundred years, Jesus Christ makes a demand which is beyond all others to satisfy; He asks for that which a philosopher may seek in vain at the hands of his friends, or a father of his children, or a bride of her spouse, or a man of his brother. He asks for the human heart; He will have it entirely to Himself. He demands it unconditionally; and forthwith His demand is granted. Wonderful! In defiance of time and space, the soul of man, with all its powers and faculties, becomes an annexation to the empire of Christ. All who sincerely believe in Him, experience that remarkable, supernatural love toward Him. This phenomenon is accountable; it is altogether beyond the scope of man's creative powers. Time, the great destroyer, is powerless to extinguish this sacred flame; time can neither exhaust its strength nor put a limit to its range. This is it, which strikes me most; I have often thought of it. This is which proves to me quite convincingly the Divinity of Jesus Christ.

funny that

After a morning of shopping in preparation for this afternoon's High Tea for 80 ladies I was feeling a bit flat. Turn on my iTunes and the first song "Hang On" the second, which I'm listening to now? "The Treasure of You". Just what I needed to hear...

Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice
That heartsick look in your eyes
You hide it very well, but I've got the same disguise
I know from all you see around you
You feel worth a very small price
So plain and ordinary, but there's a pearl inside

And if you look in the mirror in the light of the truth
You'll see there's really nothing you could say or do
To make you worth more to the One who made you

CHORUS
Your are a treasure
Worth more than anything under the sun or the moon
God's greatest treasure
Is the treasure of you

The rich man treasures gold and silver
The wise man, his knowledge of truth
Some will hold to memories and some will cling to youth
But the one who carved out the oceans
And painted the stars in the sky
You are His prized creation, the apple of His eye
There's no one else in the world who could take your place
Just the thought of you brings a smile to His face
God loves you with amazing grace

Last night at the pub someone correctly said my age of "late 20's" - no longer am I mid-20's, or even early 20's but late 20's, single, have spent way too much money lately and the house is a mess after hardly being at home in recent times (every night out for over a week)... and yet... God treasures little old single me. Funny that. But awfully nice.

Comparison

I was walking Jake (who is now wearing shoes to combat his grass allergy!) in the park last night when I caught up with a friend who is also a friend of each of my brothers. He made a comment that has got me pondering although I entirely agree with it. His comment was simple, to the effect of "your brothers are all great guys" - which is very true. Each in their own way is talented, humble, generous, handsome, creative, intelligent, interesting, funny... the list goes on and on... and on and on!

In fact, I hear a lot about my brothers. I love them dearly and couldn't ask for better siblings or friends. The truth is, they, and the comments I hear about them, make me want to be a better person.

Sometimes comparison isn't a bad thing.

Comparison can make you see why one item is better than another when shopping. Comparison can give you perspective (for example a relationship where the two people have differing world views compared to one where both people have the same fundamental belief system). Comparison can call you up to a higher standard. Comparison can bring encouragement.

I know that there's many times comparison can be exceedingly bad. I'm not talking about this, and certainly not encouraging the negative aspects of it.

The natural comparison that went off in my head last night wondering what people said to my brothers about me encouraged me to want to be a better person. Thanks guys :)

The current song in my head

Brother, let me be your servant.
Let me be as Christ to you.
Pray that I might have the grace
To let you be my servant, too.

We are pilgrims on a journey.
We are brothers on the road.
We are here to help each other
Walk the mile and bear the load.

I will hold the Christ-light for you
In the night time of your fear.
I will hold my hand out to you;
Speak the peace you long to hear.

I will weep when you are weeping.
When you laugh, I'll laugh with you.
I will share your joy and sorrow
Till we've seen this journey through.

When we sing to God in heaven,
We shall find such harmony
Born of all we've known together
Of Christ's love and agony.

Brother, let me be your servant.
Let me be as Christ to you.
Pray that I might have the grace
To let you be my servant, too.

Hypocritical

I've always been pretty set in my standards when it comes to certain things. Non-negotiable standards which "I" in years past would be shocked at "I" today and her questions.

Today, this weekend past, I find myself a hypocrite. I understand why people might let standards slip. I apologise for my judgmental superiority.

The thing is, tomorrow night I'm placing myself in a similar situation, just one that I won't enjoy nearly as much. Some girls from work are bringing some guys along to a regular Trivia Night for the specific purpose of introducing them to "some nice girls" - I being one of them. Mind you, it's my regular Trivia game that they who normally don't go are setting us up at.

Why do I have such an issue? The guys aren't Christians.

Why am I even more introspective about it than normal? Because I know a non-Christian who ticks all the boxes in my "ever could want" list, excepting his belief in Jesus Christ. Knowing him and getting to know him more has brought my awful hypocrisy to a gut wrenching screech. It's not that anything's happening ~ don't get me wrong ~ it's just the realisation that if anything were to start to happen I would have a fight on my hands with that one big un-ticked box.