The Gift of Losing my Camera

I thought I lost my camera this week, and was devastated at the thought I would no longer have it. Rather odd I know but this camera has been with me to weddings, births, up a glacier, tramped all around New Zealand, traveled through the Australian bush (via car, foot, horseback & 4 wheel motorbikes), all over Hong Kong, and has even gone around the world (east-west) when borrowed by a friend. It has been so much a part of my life that it, now battered and scratched, almost feels like an extra limb, or perhaps more correctly, a third eye that captures events that too quickly fade from my memory.

It was a real sense of grief. Very much a security blanket in an unfamiliar world that passes by all too quickly.

I woke up one night and really had to work through this grief and come to terms with the loss until until after quite some time in prayer I felt peace about the situation – why did it mean so much to me? Was it an idol in my life? (it wasn’t and isn’t for the record). Why did the loss make me feel so alone? Why did I miss my family and home in such an acute way all the more?

What amazes me is that I was prepared on a number of occasions this past year to give the same camera (Cyber by the way is his name!) away to people who may have needed it more than I. People, when offered, turned the offer down so it remained (much to my benefit) in my possession.

It really highlighted the difference between voluntarily giving something away, and having it taken from you. We’re happy to part with our money to help out a friend or the like, but if that same money gets stolen we’re mad as all get out. We’ll give our time to someone over a cup of tea, but we get frustrated when someone wastes it with idle chatter or gossip or an endless meeting.

Spiritually too I was really impacted. I want to learn and grow so much, but often don’t voluntarily let go of the things that hinder me. So God in his graceful sovereignty allows big challenges come along that knock my breath away – all for good, but none the less painful. The result is often the same, but the manner is very different.

Anyway – a fairly personal blog tonight, but did want to share a) I lost my camera b) I found my camera c) I’m thankful for both.