When our strengths are our biggest weaknesses.

By trade I’m a person who organises others – in particular, organises one high level professional and runs a ship shape office (in her own quirky way – I’m no Debbie Fiderer though!). Organization is a skill which I’ve cultivated and one which has also grown within me – professional organization that is. Its tendrils slip their way into my personal life though – often in an annoying way - I like to know what’s what, where things are heading and what I’m doing and what others are doing – I’m sure it’s a pain to my friends, but while I like to be phlegmatic at times my normal work way of doing things takes over!

It’s interesting though that my one of my current “biggest” strengths is also my current “BIGGEST” weakness. I’m struggling with trusting others with the organization. Primarily, but not exclusively, trusting God in the organization. The organization of my life, the organization of my relationships, the organization of my peace.

It’s a journey I’m really struggling with to be honest. I’d like to have all the pieces of the pie together and all of the bits of string untangled, actually, I’d settle for not having the ball untangled and just knowing what each of the different pieces of string are…

So the question is – how am I dealing with this huge weakness? Not as well as one may hope unfortunately! However, through prayer and loads of it – but also through asking others to walk the journey with me and pray with me, for me, and for everyone affected by it.

It’s an odd combination – half being phlegmatic and wanting to go with the flow, the other half struggling against the unknown and knowing that rest will not happen until I just let go.