Anger

Almost every day I’m invited through various means to indulge my carnal lusts through internet activities and viewings – in fact, this blog is written because of my most recent invitation.

I’ve heard that the pornography industry is America’s largest industry, and just like junk food I can blatantly see the marketing:
a) flood the market
b) get people to think that it’s ok and won’t hurt them and
c) get them addicted.

Junk food of the mind can be just as addictive as junk food of the body – all the sugar which leaves us ill, bloated, corpulent and lazy.

I’m really very thankful for the teaching I participated recently in regards to the Theology of the Body which has helped my own journey in the desire to be pure, mind, body and action – but I’m angry at those who wish to corrupt for their own gain and who ruin some great people’s lives because of the devastation their “un-harmful” habits create.

Anger

Almost every day I’m invited through various means to indulge my carnal lusts through internet activities and viewings – in fact, this blog is written because of my most recent invitation.

I’ve heard that the pornography industry is America’s largest industry, and just like junk food I can blatantly see the marketing:
a) flood the market
b) get people to think that it’s ok and won’t hurt them and
c) get them addicted.

Junk food of the mind can be just as addictive as junk food of the body – all the sugar which leaves us ill, bloated, corpulent and lazy.

I’m really very thankful for the teaching I participated recently in regards to the Theology of the Body which has helped my own journey in the desire to be pure, mind, body and action – but I’m angry at those who wish to corrupt for their own gain and who ruin some great people’s lives because of the devastation their “un-harmful” habits create.

The power of bad experiences

I have in front of me the possibility of something in which to really sink my teeth. Something which would require a great deal of commitment, drive, passion and vision - but two experiences such as this in the past are hindering my current view.

I've fully committed to something twice in my life - and twice have walked away broken and hurt and doubting myself and doubting God.

Yet, this situation is completely different to either of the ones I refer to above. Even though, as in the past there's the similarities of being excited about the possibilities and also seeing a huge purpose in giving it a huge go.

So, how does one learn, yet not be held back from a completely different experience by past endeavors gone wrong? Not to be too scared to give something else a try and to put all your energies into it knowing how its affected you in the past when you've done the same and it's all hit the fan.

I don't have the answer. But I do know that I need to look through new lenses at the future and try to learn from the experiences without being influenced by them.

To actually grow.

When our strengths are our biggest weaknesses.

By trade I’m a person who organises others – in particular, organises one high level professional and runs a ship shape office (in her own quirky way – I’m no Debbie Fiderer though!). Organization is a skill which I’ve cultivated and one which has also grown within me – professional organization that is. Its tendrils slip their way into my personal life though – often in an annoying way - I like to know what’s what, where things are heading and what I’m doing and what others are doing – I’m sure it’s a pain to my friends, but while I like to be phlegmatic at times my normal work way of doing things takes over!

It’s interesting though that my one of my current “biggest” strengths is also my current “BIGGEST” weakness. I’m struggling with trusting others with the organization. Primarily, but not exclusively, trusting God in the organization. The organization of my life, the organization of my relationships, the organization of my peace.

It’s a journey I’m really struggling with to be honest. I’d like to have all the pieces of the pie together and all of the bits of string untangled, actually, I’d settle for not having the ball untangled and just knowing what each of the different pieces of string are…

So the question is – how am I dealing with this huge weakness? Not as well as one may hope unfortunately! However, through prayer and loads of it – but also through asking others to walk the journey with me and pray with me, for me, and for everyone affected by it.

It’s an odd combination – half being phlegmatic and wanting to go with the flow, the other half struggling against the unknown and knowing that rest will not happen until I just let go.

Juggling

Quite some time ago I made a poster with all of these pictures of people juggling. You see the thing about juggling is this – your eye can’t be on what’s being juggled, but must be at the highest point. The poster has the caption “where is your focus”.

As I look at that poster now, bluetak’d to my wall at work, I’m thankful for the reminder. I have a lot of things right now which are clamouring for my focus – one in particular pulls at my heartstrings like nothing else – but my focus can’t be on that. It can’t be on next year. It can’t be on relationships. It can’t be on what’s going to happen which I can’t control… it MUST be on God.

Jesus, be the centre, be the source, be the light, my Jesus… my Saviour.

Sharing the Sunshine!

So wish I could share the sunshine of spring with everyone right now - the sun is shining, the birds are singing and my heart is dancing. It's a grand day.

Pull over, stop and let's pray

These were the words a friend said tonight and it reflects not only what we did (or she did as she drove and spoke to me on her phone) but also what I feel I need to do - now, and for the next little while.

Pull Over: Slow down, check your lanes, see where you can park. Assess the situation. Know where you're at.

Stop: don't do anything

Pray: Invite others to be part of the journey. Most importantly though, ask God.

As someone who tends to jump into things wholeheartedly, going slow can be an issue, especially, going slow when there's no sight of speeding up any time soon! However, one of the first scriptures I ever memorised was Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not to thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths" and I think now is the time to start hearing those words again.

(I also liked some of the quotes I read on this page: http://www.christians.org/grow/grow02.html)