Sonnet 14

This evening whilst packing I picked up one of my first collectible books, Sonnets from the Portuguese by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. It's one of those books I love, not only for the memories and typed contents, but also the exquisite craftsmanship. It's in a hand molded gold case, with the book itself being bound in Italy with a rich red fabric cover, embroidered with flowers. I picked it up tonight, looking for something comfortable and beautiful and read the poem below, a poem that I think many of us would agree with.

Sonnets from the Portuguese 14

If thou must love me, let it be for nought

Except for love's sake only. Do not say

I love her for her smile ... her look ... her way

Of speaking gently, ... for a trick of thought

That falls in well with mine, and certes brought

A sense of pleasant ease on such a day'—

For these things in themselves, Belovèd, may

Be changed, or change for thee,—and love, so wrought,

May be unwrought so. Neither love me for

Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry,—

A creature might forget to weep, who bore

Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!

But love me for love's sake, that evermore

Thou may'st love on, through love's eternity.

I fly out tomorrow to New Zealand and I'm dreading feeling alone. It's the one outstanding emotion I remember from my Pop's funeral, sobbing at the grave site as he was buried - clinging to a cousin who I hardly knew. As we say goodbye to my grandma, I'm sorry my children will never meet her, that she will never have the chance to meet the husband whom for years she has prayed, and that I will never get to tell her one more time how much she's loved.

Every time I think about her death I feel ill to my stomach. Nan's always been there, a constant in an inconsistent world, loving each of her children and grandchildren for who they were, for who we are - exactly what Elizabeth Barrett Browning is speaking about in this sonnet. The love we hope for in a lover is the same hope we have for our friendships and family. It's a theme that's just as relevant today as it was in the 1800's when EBB penned the sonnett, echoed in today's pop culture by Blessid Union of the Soul's song "She likes me for me".

And yet, as I reflect upon these thoughts, I'm reminded that Nan did know how much she was loved, and one day, one day we will all be together and pain and tears shall be no more, and we will all know how very much we are loved.