Home

I've been thinking a lot about the concept of "home" these past few days. These thoughts have sprung from a conversation I had with my mom in which she asked if I felt at home/at ease where I was holidaying, and if so, was wondering if that was because I was born there. She likened it to how she feels in a big city, or how dad feels in the country or how I feel when I visit Asia or New Zealand. That sense of simple contentment which I've never felt on a consistent basis here, other than it's the place I know like the back of my hand and due to that so easy to live in.

In Google when you type define:home one of the definitions that pop up is this:

base: the place where you are stationed and from which missions start and end

That definition encompasses how I feel about where I live now. It's my base, and it isn't "a place of refuge and comfort" (Wikipedia) for any other reason than the people that are here. In addition, interestingly, when asked these past two years if Toowoomba is now my home I've always replied saying "It's my base".

My church in Hong Kong was my home - I felt instantly and contitinually comfortable there. It seems to be my reference point for how comfortable I feel. Another church I've been to recently was that as well, but oddly enough, not my current one although I've been going there for longer than I can remember.

Home is an interesting concept to ponder. And, moreso when we consider what Christ said in Matthew 8 and Luke 9 where he states he has no place to rest his head, and in addition, the references to our Heavenly home.

I have Eli's live album playing in my head where he speaks of a discontent in all our hearts when we realise that "I'm not home", then in my jumbled head I jump to Jamie Smith's song "home" where the lyrics read:

My heart fails
My mind falters
Sometimes my passion fades
Sometimes my desires change
Sometimes I turn my head and I look the other way

When I'm restless you are rest
When I'm helpless you are help
When I'm nervous you settle me
When I'm empty you fill me
When I've gone to far you gently bring me home
'Cause you are home

Home is where my history begins
Home is where you delight in me
Home is where your voice is in my ear
Home is where you dance with me

At the end of the day, and at the end of my ponderings I think I'll come to the same conclusion that I have now - whatever restlessness I feel, whenever I feel it, it should draw me closer to God than further away from him. They say that home is where the heart is, and if so, my home is all over the world with the people I love in many, many places... and I'm comfortable with that. In terms of my discussion with Mom, well - that's another issue entirely :)