For the past month I've been dreading yesterday and today. The reason is quite personal so I won't go into it, suffice it to say - my dread has been justified... it's been a truly horrid time.

Last night Lynda came up and we went out for coffee (i.e. she had coffee, I had a Baileys and hot chocolate with a glass of port) and shared a dish of french toast with maple syrup and strawberries.

Tonight however has been another story.

I didn't finish work until 6pm after which I raced home to get changed before rushing down to feed the horses which had already been fed. Not that I minded though - I've found keeping busy is good. So on my way up the Toowoomba Range with nothing but a lonely night ahead of me, I found myself praying "God, please just help me through tonight". And you know what? So far he has :)

I got the flash of inspiration that all any girl really needs is a Baskin and Robins 2 scoop sunday with some junk food to go along, so I went to the other side of town, got this (and ate half my sunday whilst in the drive through line), cruised home on a sugar high with my radio turned up way past where its dodgy sound system should be, car moshing like Animal on the Muppets singing as loud and out of tune as possible.

I'm writing this all out because it doesn't seem so bad if I can share it - the pain is palpable although unseen, and I'm hoping that by trivialising it one day I'll look back and smile thinking "that wasn't so bad after all".

P.s. Something really great did happen today though - I'm an Aunty again :) ... well... kind of! Welcome to the world Joshua David Hamilton Solanky - I sooooo look forward to meeting you.