The Harlot Within us All

In the modern world, one of the most horrendous and soul shattering things to have happen to you is your partner cheating... the violation of trust, the breaking of bonds and the emotional fallout is mammoth. Even just to try to comprehend what it must feel like is almost impossible for me - and I'd rather not think on it for too long.

In tonight's home group we looked at Hosea and the unfathomable story of Gomer and her continuing abandonment of their relationship. We discussed the meta-narrative. We discussed the context, intention and text. We discussed grace that is given within difficult situations, incomprehensible from the outside. We admitted that there are somethings we'll never completely understand...

What struck me though in summing up the story is this: I sin. There are some areas where I continually sin and think "oh no, not again!". God views sin as sin, to Him areas where I fail, time and time again, are no different to the sins of Gomer - all of us have fallen short, and all of us will continue to. "But by the grace of God there go I" etc.

The book of Hosea is a book speaking of God's unremitting love for Isreal - it personally though shows me that I can always come back to God and say "I did it again, and I'm sorry - please forgive me." Furthermore, like Hosea taking back Gomer as his wife (not just slave etc. . . but in full as his wife) and the Father welcoming back his son (the Prodigal Son) who expected to be a servant in the household, so he too says to us "my child".

We are all harlots in different ways, we all have areas where we fail, and when we stop failing there the chances are we'll fail somewhere else. . . none of us are perfect - but it's our imperfections which help us to admit we need God.

For this revelation I am very thankful tonight.

Opportunities and Energy

I have six weeks until I finish the role from which I've resigned. Six weeks to finish well, cement friendships, apply for new jobs and consider what's next. It's a very daunting period in my life... something that I have been surprised by though is the levels of disappointment that I find myself going through.

It's been a long time since I've been a job seeker. To be honest, I haven't found it too hard to get a job thus far in my life and so the experience of applying for jobs is a daunting one. I've given one job application a really good go - and didn't even get an interview! There's one for the humility bank let me tell you... I find myself needing to get out and give more things a go - thus more applications, more time, more energy.

What's cool is that every now and then a job pops up that I'm actually quite interested in... but then it's the energy that's needed to give it a good go, with the knowledge that there's a lot of other people out there hunting too.

So, just as with relationships I must enter the same state of mind with my job search - "well God, if not this then you have something else - right?"