I'm Addicted

I haven't had internet connection from my laptop for over a week... and it's been horrible. I feel so out of touch, so removed, so... disconnected! I'm down at the farm plugging in to their system and have no idea when I'll be up and running from home again.

Apologies to all that are waiting on emails from me - I'll reply soon.

Vacuumed

I find myself awake at 2 in the morning with a very disconcerting feeling. It’s that the last two years have never happened.

It feels like everything that has happened has been vacuum packed and that pack has been squeezed into an almost imperceptible slot in the timeline of my life – one that you can only see in detail when you scroll the mouse over it and a pop-up box reveals detail.

It’s sickening really. I’ve slipped back into my old life with such simplicity that I might never have been away. Same little red car that needs to warm up before you drive it, but is fun to drive. Same room (that’s prone to get messy fast). Same Toowoomba that’s hardly changed. Being at the farm yesterday was odd too, I might never have been away from there either, or without my best mate whom I’ve missed so much. To top it off, I’m going for a job interview today with a company in the same building as my old employer!

Well – I don’t know why all of this is happening, or why I feel this way, but as the song goes “trust and obey for there’s no other way”.

After leaving a friend’s house following a delicious meal yesterday evening, Lizzy commented on the moon and stars. For one of the first times since being home I registered that we have stars - actual points of light that shine in the night sky, not just one or two, but multitudes beyond counting in 30 seconds!

I’ve started to enjoy doing nothing, but also recognising as I start to resurface into the world again, that while so much seems the same, things are also quite different.

In all honesty, I’m not missing Hong Kong, or my work there at all. I expected to, but nope, not a dash of disappointment! I'm heading down to the farm for the first time today, Lynda, after a day's delay returns from the US and we're going to catch up via a tour and inspection of the horses :)

On a sadder note, Emma will also be leaving me today - but we've made good friends and she's promised to visit again.

The Hunt is On...

After my visit to Centrelink yesterday I now have to apply for 10 jobs a fortnight - aghh. Gotta love wrong information, but at least I get paid whilst searching (pay day today!!!).

I've applied for two already today, both PA roles with one being much more intensive than the other (PA to the MD of a large regional building and construction organisation vs PA to a Real Estate agent). I've also got a lead which might land me by word of mouth a Town Planner's job - imagine that... Liz the Town Planner!

The whole system's a little odd because if I'm offered ANY job within 90 minutes drive I need to take it to stay on the government scheme, and if a better offer comes, I then chuck the bad job and take the good one. I think it's rather unfair to employers, and means that they have to wade through tonnes of unsuitable applications, or get employees not keen for their work.

Ideally I'd only be applying for 9 day fortnight roles within 20 minutes (max) drive. That's dreaming though! And as such, you may soon see a blog on Liz in the Meatworks or some such thing :D

Gotta love it.

An interesting day ahead

I'm sitting on my couch after taking Emma for her morning walk contemplating the day ahead.

I need to leave soon to go to the bank, and then Centrelink, following that I'm going to the funeral of a young man who died tragically and unexpectedly this past week. While I didn't know Michael very well, I do know that this memorial service will celebrate his life, with friends coming down on hired buses from the coast where he lived. What I do know of him I'll remember fondly - always a smile, or a genuine word, always recognising the importance of others and being there for them when it counted, always ready for a laugh.

Funerals always make me think of my life - what have I done, how will I be remembered? Being a little bit morbid, I remember whilst in school telling friends what songs I wanted played at my funeral - while the choices have changed, I still think sometimes about what I would wish. The older I get the more funerals I go to, some leave you feeling challenged, others sad, some simply angry at the manner of passing and wondering what you can do for the family who suffers without a loved one.

Not really knowing how to end this train of thought, I'm going to share a Heartlight word for the day I received recently - In thankfulness for Michael's life as someone who will be remembered for this, and a prayer for myself and others, that with whatever time we have remaining we would be more like this:

VERSE:
Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you,
brother, have refreshed the hearts of the saints.
-- Philemon 1:7

THOUGHT:
Wouldn't this description of Philemon be a great one to have
said about you! To be loved, supported, and encouraged by an
encourager is to have your heart refreshed and your attitude
lifted. Let's make a commitment to be an "encourager" who refreshes
the hearts of those around us this week.

PRAYER:
Tender and loving God, thank you for leading the people into my
life who have encouraged me when I most needed it. Please give me
the eyes to see and the heart to serve those around me who
desperately need my encouragement. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Dear Enemy

A great thing about being home is rediscovering books that have been long time, well re-read favourites.

Two such of these are by Jean Webster - Dear Enemy & Daddy Long-Legs. Highly recommended if you're up for a light but entertaining read.

In other news, Emma following our morning walk and game of ball, is now reclining outside my door 2 feet from me (see Dad - I haven't let her inside :) blissfully entertaining some doggy dreams.... oh no - there she goes - an interesting scent on the breeze has tweaked her nose and off she goes to investigate! Now she's back - tail wagging to see if I want to play more ball... and I think I do.

Borrowing Emma

One of the biggest "culture shocks" in returning to Australia is feeling unsafe. Not only in and around town (for instance, an old man of 81 years of age who is completely blind was mugged in broad daylight yesterday with his wallet being stolen), but also within my house. It seems that there is a trend for street kids to wander into houses (when they're occupied) and take what they want, terrorising the people living inside. Living in Hong Kong I hardly ever, if ever, feared for my safety, and it is aggravating to experience this once more - not being able to walk by myself at night, or needing to lock all my doors even when I'm inside.

With this in mind, I had a wakeful night worrying about being alone in the house for a week whilst my parents are in Canberra (which is SO annoying as usually I love being home alone)... my mom (who turned 60 today!) suggested that I do what she does when home alone - Borrow Emma!

So I've borrowed Emma - the most adorably friendly and good natured Labrador dog that you could ever meet. Perhaps not much of a guard dog but certainly great company. She's the Rodger's dog, but was holidaying with Janelle and Anthony whilst they're in the USA, and I popped down for a visit to their beautiful home to pick her up.

I drove back the long way through the dwindling twilight and must have massacred a host of bugs who's remains are littered along the bonnet and windscreen of my car as memoirs of their lives - pesky in life, and pesky in death... so not looking forward to cleaning them off!

She's now settled in quite comfortably on the back porch and was a very happy girl when I returned from Dana and Jason's tonight (dinner - a rushed vegetable and chicken mango yogurt cus cus - and then a Play Station game called Buzz). It is nice to come home to someone - even if they do lick and slobber over you :)

In other news, a lovely couple have given me some money to settle in and spoil myself with... I've decided to use it to visit a coffee shop a day as long as it lasts. I've found that taking a bit of time just to myself (probably less of a concern now that the house is empty!) has been one of the best things to do...

I'll blog on each of the places soon, as well as giving a description of Toowoomba for those who have yet to visit our picturesque township.

Darkness and Light by Geoff Bullock...

Darkness and Light

Lord of the brokenhearted,
the sad, the shamed and the cast down
draw us nearer
as we draw near to you.
may our hope
not be in vain
or our trust disappointed.
Let our failing hearts
be comforted
and our troubled minds reassured.

Isn't that a beautiful prayer? As is a thought also by Geoff Bullock listed on another of his blogs, "The foundation of our faith is not the things that we do. It is entirely about the things that He has done. There is nothing notable about our love for God, however His love for us is absolutely miraculous."

I take comfort in both of these thoughts tonight - these and the reminder of warm sun on my back and the smell of wood smoke on the fresh breeze as I enjoyed a Devonshire Tea in Highfields this afternoon.

Funny Days

Dad dragged me out of the house today to go down to our Church's Schoolyard Blitz (a working bee where we didn't have a church service but did maintenance and cleaning at a local public school). It was quite overwhelming seeing everyone, especially all the new couples and marrieds, and I didn't stay long. What was hilarious though was the Bible verse in the newsletter for the week:

Leviticus 23:3 "There are six days when you may work; but the seventh day is a Sabbath of rest, a day of sacred assembly. You are not to do any work; wherever you live, it is a Sabbath to the Lord."

I don't know if it was a genuine oversight, or someone's sneaky joke but it did put a smile back on my face.

What the??

After a delightful lunch at Two Birds with Dana and Liz, I was dropping Lizzy back to work when we were stopped by a train! A normal circumstance for some but after 2 years without such situations it was a photo worthy moment. In hindsight though, I remember when we were in Canada counting the carriages attached to the engine and got well over 200 one time... this was only a wee one at about 15.

On another note, it's been raining here for the past 4 days (thank God) and walking in town the past few days I've been struck by something lacking... Umbrellas! Where in Hong Kong people would pull out umbrellas for the gentlest sprinkle, I haven't seen one yet! We're a tough mob here in Toowoomba :)

"Surreal, but Nice"

Being back in Australia is surreal, surreal but nice as Hugh Grant would say... driving around streets that haven't changed, dressing in my coat for 9 degree weather during the day, waking up in the middle of the night to pitch black darkness and no sound of the streets, seeing friends and having a beer or wine with dinner.

One of the big culture shocks so far has been my job hunt. On Monday when I arrived home I stood in line at Centrelink (our local welfare organisation) to register for NewStart, a job seeker's allowance. For the first time in a long time I found myself in a line full of unemployed people with unpleasant body odour and grubby clothes, not as an observer but one in the same position (my clothes were clean though and I hope I didn't smell!). It was an interesting experience and one that made me realise, perhaps, how snobbish I've become being a white skin in a land that respects that fact. It was a great reminder though that everyone is important, regardless of background or current circumstance, and I have no place in being prideful.

Yesterday I had a typing test when registering with a temp agency and was stoked that even without my glasses and reading from a sheet of paper (not how I'm used to typing) I was above 65 WPM.

Today though was the greatest shock to my system... the Australian Government will pay me for 12 weeks while I don't have a job, without needing to commit to a job hunt or applying for a certain number of jobs per week. With all the bad things we hear about governments this was a fact that made me recognise how fortunate I am to be an Australian.

It was an interesting time this afternoon, even aside from that astounding fact. The first of two interactions was chatting to a bloke sitting next to me at Mission Australia for about 15 minutes. who was from, shall we say, quite a different background. His name was Stephen, a homegrown Toowoomba man, late 20's early/30's who has no desire whatsoever to get a job: a good conversationalist whom I admit I'd be more than happy not to meet again. Not that he was unpleasant, more so that he was intrusive, perhaps he was just gregarious, but I was uncomfortable. His grandmother was a missionary for 25 years and this past week he went to the Seventh Day Adventist church where there were a lot of nice people, but said its been a long time since he's met anyone decent. He encouraged a younger man (who had a job and was waiting for his partner) who he was familiar with that there wasn't enough crime and that the dole was great.

It was fascinating that he asked during our conversation if I was religious or not. I replied that while I wasn't religious per say (a term that can be defined as "bondage") I was a Christian. I was intrigued by the interaction which followed this, especially with the other bloke saying as he left the conversation and the building that Jesus really wasn't in to religion either, just look at the sacking of the temple. Made me take a step back and very thankful for the work of a few friends that reach out to street kids and the less fortunate in Toowoomba whom I'm fairly sure might have had some impact on this young man's life. Stephen, with his opinionated statements, was apparently open to reconsidering his views... he commented on Jesus committing suicide, and conceded that suicide and sacrificing your life (as one might for a mate in war) were two different things, and maybe the thought was wrong... anyway - it was an interesting dialogue.

The second stranger I had a lot of interaction with was my Advisor, Cherie. Early 20's with a 9 month old child she was eager as anything to learn and find out what I've been doing, how it affected me and why anyone would want to live in a strange place not earning money. While the questions she asked were personal (some incredibly so) I didn't feel confronted as I did when Stephen asked similar ones, or perhaps even when friends would. Our last interaction was when I drove back to sign a form she forgot about and we chatted about all manner of things from pubs to clothing envy - she liked my skirt (under AUD2) and I liked her shoes (a "bargain" for AUD75!!!! ouch!).

I mention these things for the fascinating observation that I can communicate with local people once more. It's novel, and can have its downside, but it's also great.

I do want to blog on my final weeks in Hong Kong, and hopefully won't leave it too long, but did want to share these reflections whilst they were fresh.


P.s. Isn't my niece beautiful??!??

bit by bit

I spent the evening doing my least favourite task of the packing process... consolidating and sorting the bits and pieces - the draws of "stuff", some of which I'd never give away, some which are special products that I've been saving just because they're too special to use frequently, and some items that in reflection are simply... junk! Thrown in a drawer or on a desk because I didn't know quite what to do with them at the time, or with hindsight I see them for the trinkets they are.

The task was made much easier though by the presence of one of Australia's premier singer song writers, Helen Mottee. It was such a pleasure to have Helen sit and keep me company though arduous process and I'm so very thankful! It was almost as good as having my mom here helping me through the task.

I'm left though with the question of what to do with sentimental items I simply can't take home. an empty bottle of wine and a bouquet of (now dried) flowers for a birthday gift. my bonsai. two years of life, and notes and survival - I'm getting rather ruthless but I'm still and always will be a keepsake and mathom holder.

Celebrating the Victories

Today I set myself the task of packing my two bags for the plane which would consist of sorting through, folding and packing my clothes. Yes, two bags just for clothes - but for those who know me getting it down to just two has been quite a feat!

Summer and Winter wardrobes combined, along with two dressing gowns, coats, stuffed animals and a pillow - I looked at the pile beside which covered my whole bed and wondered HOW would it be done!!!

Bit by bit I fit the bulk into the first bag - alas not the big bag I brought stuff over in, but a smaller one which Mom left with me when she took the daddy one home.

A small victory was achieved with the inclusion of many articles, but when I looked at the remainder I had no idea how they would fit into my small back pack (it looks deceptively large but I can pack it full just for a weekend trip).

My animals suffered first with the assistance of a vacuum bag - thanks Flatty Marnie :) - which also helped downsize my dressing gowns, biggest coat and the sweater Mom knitted for Dad when they first got married (sweet I know - only he doesn't wear it and I've pinched it).

SUCCESS was achieved much to my delight and exhaustion, with the addition of my sleeping bag attached to my Macpac.

So here's celebrating victories large and small.

P.s. If you should wonder how I'm getting non-clothing items home... answer is: carry on baggage, and 2 boxes being posted (one already packed!!!)

P.S.S. Yes, I'll be looking very daggy for the next two weeks! I've packed all my clothes and will be wearing items I'm not packing!!! But I've still got my shoes :)

Skype is Down!

SkypeOut, SkypeIn, Skype Voicemail, Skype SMS
All working normally.

Security alerts. All working normally.

Central contact list. All working normally.

Sign in and registration. Problems with Skype login.

Peer-to-peer network core. Problems with Skype login.

Skypecasts. All working normally.

Your Account and payments. All working normally.

Web and download servers. All working normally.

It's amazing how attached I've become to the technology of Skype, and how disconnected from the world I felt when I couldn't log on today.

a broken heart is never fun


----------------
Now playing: Coldplay - What If
via FoxyTunes

The Assumption of Mary

Today was the Assumption of Mary celebrating the passage of Mary, the mother of Jesus, from earth to heaven. I'd never heard of this before, but was encouraged by the reflection based upon 1 Corinthians 15 stating that "If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied.", but that it's NOT so, we do have hope beyond this life, and that hope, which is the same as so many others who have passed before us, is not futile.

The reflection asked us to think of speaking to Mary, what would we ask her? What would we ask other people that have died, who would we want to speak to? What were our thoughts on death?

It was interesting pondering as I've always had a bit of an abhorrence of death - I like living. As much as I can grumble I don't want to die, and I certainly don't want my friend or family to... but again, it comes down to trust. Faith. Hope. We are not to be pitied, and my hope in Christ and life beyond this living is not futile - I don't understand it, I don't know what it will be like, but I do believe in it.

In other news I've just spent the past 4 hours renewing my CV and writing my first real (i.e. addressing selection criteria) job application in 5 years! Aiyahh... Back to the real world soon!!!

I love Widgets!

I was on a website today and saw the following widget:

http://babystrology.com/tickers/

A Baby Ticker!! Just so all your friends and family can know just how developed your bub is and when it's due... how cool is that!

I did find a link to further widgets so stay tuned for an updated blog page! Great for moments of procrastination where I'm sick of packing!

I'm Published!!!

For the first time ever one of my photos was requested for publication today!

While it's only on the slide-show on a small story in NowPublic, it was still quite cool to be asked for permission to use it.

In other news, I'm leaving Hong Kong in 3 weeks, I've yet to book my ticket, my mom might be coming over to help me (YEAH), and I have much more than 3 weeks worth of work to do.

Googling

I hoped to get a bit more sleep last night after working the day, alas, it was not so! 3am dawned and by 4 despite my mind's protestations I was wide awake.

The result after some productive newsletter folding was this:

"Elizabeth Grace Shaw was born on 16 May 1904 in Floyd County, Virginia. She died on 4 Nov 1971 in Madison County, Alabama."

3am thoughts

Since arriving back in Hong Kong on Friday I've been wide awake from about 3am each morning. As my mind is in overdrive I've found myself listening to sermons or surfing the web to pass the time (although this morning I've almost finished my final newsletter which was quite productive).

In my late night web browsing I've found myself once more disheartened by disillusionment as I've read articles and news sites on all manner of topics, but primarily current events and Hillsong. I was reminded by Uncle Phil's blog though as he quoted Bonhoeffer that we are all sinners, and so to judge anyone is not only wrong (after all God should be the only judge) but often hypocritical.

So... with that in mind, and the thought that I stand on the knife edge of hypocrisy, I share with the www that I don't like main stream happy clappy Christianity. I identify with the words of Geoff Bullock where he says:

I’d like the word worship to go out of our vernacular and that (instead) we would enjoy our musical arts as an expression of faith, an expression of celebration, a creative expression of grace but when we thought of (God’s) outworking in our lives, we thought of rolling our sleeves up and getting committed to physically meeting needs and to loving people and accepting people and allowing God to reveal Himself to them...I’d love to see an inclusiveness where this whole culture was broken down. I’d love to hear people sing but not striving to have a spiritual experience in it

I love to sing and praise God in that, but I'm not a fan of worship per say any more in the P&W sense. I don't like being judged on my performance in Christianity, I don't think we should be, although it's all to easy to fall into this trap. How loud we sing, if we pray out loud, outward indications of an inward relationship to which only God can really see.

In reading through many articles, I've paralleled the time with listening to some sermons by Malcolm Smith on Christ's grace and acceptance (the specific series I'm listening to is entitled "spiritual burnout - the road to recovery"). In this series he states that we must take a serious look at our belief system, and that the promises of the Gospel are incapable of burnout. Looking through the Epistles of Paul, he speaks of a key phrase that runs throughout and that if you were to take those phrases out, there would be very little left in Paul's exposition of the Gospel, with the one that puts it most succinctly being Ephesians 2: 4-7 (I've included a bit more):

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.

He speaks on how our relationship with Christ should be founded on these words. Never in what we do, but always coming back to how we are in Christ Jesus, and the blood covenant he made for us. He goes on to expound on these words and how there is nothing that we have as a believer, except in Christ, and from that outworks our Christianity.

I guess listening to him I feel fairly overwhelmed, reasonably confronted, and in some ways simply angry. I know I'm in the process and have been for some months of experiencing the wonder of Grace, but it's a scary thing to know that there is NOTHING that I can do myself. That we must Trust and Obey, and there really is no other way.

I find myself confronted as I know I haven't been living in Christ's mercy and grace nor outworking that in a true sense (although thankfully Christ has still worked through me regardless of my motives or inner fears). I find myself overwhelmed by the attitude shift and change I want to go through, but scared because it becomes much more about trust then works, and fear has become a friend that I need to say goodbye to. I find myself angry because of teaching which is and has been so prevalent that many of us who have been in the faith for so long might not even have the basics right.

A couple of months ago I came across this verse in John 6 and have been really encouraged by it
on many occasions, I find it once again applicable to my thoughts:

28 Then they asked him, "What must we do to do the works God requires?"

29 Jesus answered, "The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent."

I think that verse just about sums up my pondering this morning.

Tea Tea Marvellous Tea

I'll be leaving HK in early September and as such have started to pack up 2 years of ... well, life!

I began the process this morning by sorting through my tea tins and making bags for girls on the team I work with (thinking of having a tea party of some sort time allowing). I counted my teas during this endeavour and they added up to 38!

How Delicious!