My Saturday

After a productive morning of housework, Lynda and I spent the afternoon handling horses. I was astounded as I reflected on the ages of the foals and how they acted compared to humans or other mammals at the same stage in life.

For instance - They're thinking. Creatures with an already defined personality - some are curious & friendly, others are stubborn, some are snobbish and still others are brash and bossy. At only ten days old one foal impressed me with her calm presence when under pressure. Being asked to walk for the first time with a rope around her neck, never handled by humans before, she was patted and pushed and kept away from mommy and milk - keeping her head where others have failed. My favourite, a young cold of 23 days age after three small sessions of under five minutes, now lets me approach and pat him in the paddock and scratch him all over.

I'm just blown away that these creatures are so young, and not so long ago were still gestating in their mother's womb. Now, out in the world they're coping marvellously. I can only wonder at the difference between this and humans with my mind bursting with comparisons and lessons to be learnt.

A funny anecdote though - our stallion was tempted by a mare coming on heat so we moved her out of his paddock considering the danger of him becoming permanently injured while attempting to "perform" when she's not quite as eager as he is. We switched her with another mare and for the next few hours could observe him trying to prove his male dominance by keeping her penned in different parts of the paddock. What was funny though is no matter how many times he got kicked, or how hard (I heard the impact of a few 100 meters away) he didn't give up - nor did he forget the more desirable and in season mare just across the road - just goes to show, men really do have thick skulls!

- and yes, for those who are concerned with his welfare, he was put in a smaller enclosure by himself overnight, with only food and water for company. You can't help them that don't want help!

Every now and then we all have "two teabag" days.

For instance, this morning as I drove to work, bleary eyed for my early Wednesday 7:30 start, I realised my current life somewhat resembles Bridget Jones.
- I've picked up the habit of buying Instant Scratch Its
- I'd be dating her two boyfriends (Ben and Jerry) if they lived in Toowoomba, but have happily settled for second best, moving in with Baskin and Robin
- While I can't weight myself religiously due to my lack of scales, whenever I find some I do, getting this sick sort of pleasure by looking at how thin I am as she did returning from prison in Thailand!
- I don't mind drinking alone

Unlike Bridget, I spoke at my church on Sunday night, sharing some of my experiences from the past two years. One of the most impacting things for me, and apparently also for others was playing a slideshow of people we helped over my time there to the background of Helen Mottee's song "Don't Tell Me". It provided a great contrast between the impact and change doing can make, with the tempting apathy of today's world. Thank you Helen!

Today was a great day, a really, really, really great day. I won't go in to the why, but it was great! (bet you're all curious now aren't you?). My great day may in time crash and burn around me but I'm riding the high while it lasts.

Finally - a question. For all the ladies out there, how much lipstick do you think you will eat in a lifetime? I pondered this as I saw mine slide off onto my tea cup and biscuit today.

The World of News (other than the election)

The Australian Federal Election date of November 24th was announced yesterday and all n sundry can now expect 6 weeks of little else on the news.

As such, and as an alternative to my recent introspective blogs, I've decided to highlight some other news in these coming 6 weeks.

To start it off for week one - an Australian performer has had an ear implanted into his arm... Click on the image to read more:

For the past month I've been dreading yesterday and today. The reason is quite personal so I won't go into it, suffice it to say - my dread has been justified... it's been a truly horrid time.

Last night Lynda came up and we went out for coffee (i.e. she had coffee, I had a Baileys and hot chocolate with a glass of port) and shared a dish of french toast with maple syrup and strawberries.

Tonight however has been another story.

I didn't finish work until 6pm after which I raced home to get changed before rushing down to feed the horses which had already been fed. Not that I minded though - I've found keeping busy is good. So on my way up the Toowoomba Range with nothing but a lonely night ahead of me, I found myself praying "God, please just help me through tonight". And you know what? So far he has :)

I got the flash of inspiration that all any girl really needs is a Baskin and Robins 2 scoop sunday with some junk food to go along, so I went to the other side of town, got this (and ate half my sunday whilst in the drive through line), cruised home on a sugar high with my radio turned up way past where its dodgy sound system should be, car moshing like Animal on the Muppets singing as loud and out of tune as possible.

I'm writing this all out because it doesn't seem so bad if I can share it - the pain is palpable although unseen, and I'm hoping that by trivialising it one day I'll look back and smile thinking "that wasn't so bad after all".

P.s. Something really great did happen today though - I'm an Aunty again :) ... well... kind of! Welcome to the world Joshua David Hamilton Solanky - I sooooo look forward to meeting you.

Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad

Letting Go?

After listening to a very poignant sermon today from Bruce Louden, I went down to Spring Bluff for some quite time with my Maker over a cup of tea and a long lunch.

While sitting down, alternating between my book, enjoying the stillness and speaking out smatterings of the confusion and wrestling struggle I'm facing, I was reminded of this poem.

As children bring their broken toys
With tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God
Because He was my friend.

But instead of leaving Him
In peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help
With ways that were my own.

At last I snatched them back and cried,
"How can you be so slow?"
"My child," He said, "What could I do?
You never let them go."

Today, this afternoon, I want to let go - at least, I want to want to let go! I know I need to let go and trust God with that segment of my life - knowing I can't try to control it anymore, knowing I must leave it in his hands 'til he mends it (& me) and gives it back, or, until he mends me and trusts me with something else.

I'm not sure how to do this, as I said, I'm not even sure I want to. I know I need to though, and I ask for His Grace to help enable me.

Saturday Mornings

Until this morning, I had forgotten how GOOD Saturdays can be.

You wake up and are keen to get out of bed even though you don't have to, vacuum the car, eat some breakfast, go bargain shopping at the local Vinnie's (Tommy Hilfiger slacks for $4!) and have your car washed (water restrictions mean we can't wash them ourselves), before heading home via the petrol station to clean your room - All before 11am!

So with all my chores finished (aside from feeding the horses tonight down at the farm) what to do with the rest of the day??

The answer to that is easy - write a blog (in progress), read some more of my book, and later on head to Spring Bluff for a cup of tea prior to heading to the farm.

Oh what a life I lead :)

Yes - I'm obviously still in the after buzz of my empowerment fix yesterday, but making the most of it!

Out of Character - but LOVING it!

Today I did the unthinkable... one of the most out of character things I've ever done... but I feel great having done it! "and what was it?" I hear you ask??? I quit my job!

"But I didn't even know you we're working" you say in response - and it's true, which makes what I've done even more surprising - I have given notice after two weeks, to a job that needs someone who is wiling to commit much more than I.

I feel so EMPOWERED, much more than I have in a long time, if, in fact, ever! I have made a choice - and based on many valid reasons, I will leave my job at the end of October, having done the right thing by my employer and by me.

In writing the word "choice" there, I think that is part of the empowerment. For a long time I've felt tossed by the winds of fate - and even though I've known that God is in control, I've felt very little control, just hanging on and trusting. This job, which I didn't look for has been part of that journey of trust and I'm thankful that I'm choosing to depart, which I'm also trusting is right - it certainly feels right however much a change from the security seeking me :)

So happy days to all and sundry - make a choice today - and feel better off for doing so.

Over a year...Thank you!

It's astounding the many things that can occur in a year. Some wonderful, some heartbreaking, some life changing all piled together with the little seemingly insignificant moments which make up our day to day lives.

I realised recently that, aside from the posts on this blog chronicling aspects, views and bits of my life this past year, this blog also details the people who have visited. It's been visited 1145 times by people all over the world, and while the map's been restarted for another year, I'm taking this opportunity to reflect and say "Thanks for reading".

While some visitors appear to be one off's, others are repeat offenders (how I do love YOU!). There are some that log in (according to my Cluster Map) on a regular basis from places I'm not sure I know people from and others are known friends. Now is the time to do a shout out to you all - whoever you are and for whatever reason - welcome to my blog and happy reading.

With love from Somewhere_Smiling
(yes, still in toowoomba! how sad it is to be in a place which each time you spell it you're told you've done it wrong)

P.s. Feel free to leave comments :)

The Face of Toowoomba in October

Welcome to the first blog from Somewhere_Smiling (currently in Toowoomba and not so smiling with a very red nose from a cold) for October.

October in Toowoomba is a weird mix of cicadas’ singing softly catching on the warm evening breeze and Christmas trees wreathed in fake snow in the shopping centres.

It was delightful though last week crashing down at the farm for the weekend, pizzas and beer Friday night, filling the back of a ute with barbed wire – getting down and dirty with farm tasks and horses before going out for coffee in the afternoon with Lynda and Janelle and seeing the flowers at Spring Bluff Railway (check out the October Flickr set for photos). Sunday I wagged church to look at a Stallion before taking a nap on the veranda and watching a chick flick in the evening! How lovely is that for a weekend :)

I'm Addicted

I haven't had internet connection from my laptop for over a week... and it's been horrible. I feel so out of touch, so removed, so... disconnected! I'm down at the farm plugging in to their system and have no idea when I'll be up and running from home again.

Apologies to all that are waiting on emails from me - I'll reply soon.

Vacuumed

I find myself awake at 2 in the morning with a very disconcerting feeling. It’s that the last two years have never happened.

It feels like everything that has happened has been vacuum packed and that pack has been squeezed into an almost imperceptible slot in the timeline of my life – one that you can only see in detail when you scroll the mouse over it and a pop-up box reveals detail.

It’s sickening really. I’ve slipped back into my old life with such simplicity that I might never have been away. Same little red car that needs to warm up before you drive it, but is fun to drive. Same room (that’s prone to get messy fast). Same Toowoomba that’s hardly changed. Being at the farm yesterday was odd too, I might never have been away from there either, or without my best mate whom I’ve missed so much. To top it off, I’m going for a job interview today with a company in the same building as my old employer!

Well – I don’t know why all of this is happening, or why I feel this way, but as the song goes “trust and obey for there’s no other way”.

After leaving a friend’s house following a delicious meal yesterday evening, Lizzy commented on the moon and stars. For one of the first times since being home I registered that we have stars - actual points of light that shine in the night sky, not just one or two, but multitudes beyond counting in 30 seconds!

I’ve started to enjoy doing nothing, but also recognising as I start to resurface into the world again, that while so much seems the same, things are also quite different.

In all honesty, I’m not missing Hong Kong, or my work there at all. I expected to, but nope, not a dash of disappointment! I'm heading down to the farm for the first time today, Lynda, after a day's delay returns from the US and we're going to catch up via a tour and inspection of the horses :)

On a sadder note, Emma will also be leaving me today - but we've made good friends and she's promised to visit again.

The Hunt is On...

After my visit to Centrelink yesterday I now have to apply for 10 jobs a fortnight - aghh. Gotta love wrong information, but at least I get paid whilst searching (pay day today!!!).

I've applied for two already today, both PA roles with one being much more intensive than the other (PA to the MD of a large regional building and construction organisation vs PA to a Real Estate agent). I've also got a lead which might land me by word of mouth a Town Planner's job - imagine that... Liz the Town Planner!

The whole system's a little odd because if I'm offered ANY job within 90 minutes drive I need to take it to stay on the government scheme, and if a better offer comes, I then chuck the bad job and take the good one. I think it's rather unfair to employers, and means that they have to wade through tonnes of unsuitable applications, or get employees not keen for their work.

Ideally I'd only be applying for 9 day fortnight roles within 20 minutes (max) drive. That's dreaming though! And as such, you may soon see a blog on Liz in the Meatworks or some such thing :D

Gotta love it.

An interesting day ahead

I'm sitting on my couch after taking Emma for her morning walk contemplating the day ahead.

I need to leave soon to go to the bank, and then Centrelink, following that I'm going to the funeral of a young man who died tragically and unexpectedly this past week. While I didn't know Michael very well, I do know that this memorial service will celebrate his life, with friends coming down on hired buses from the coast where he lived. What I do know of him I'll remember fondly - always a smile, or a genuine word, always recognising the importance of others and being there for them when it counted, always ready for a laugh.

Funerals always make me think of my life - what have I done, how will I be remembered? Being a little bit morbid, I remember whilst in school telling friends what songs I wanted played at my funeral - while the choices have changed, I still think sometimes about what I would wish. The older I get the more funerals I go to, some leave you feeling challenged, others sad, some simply angry at the manner of passing and wondering what you can do for the family who suffers without a loved one.

Not really knowing how to end this train of thought, I'm going to share a Heartlight word for the day I received recently - In thankfulness for Michael's life as someone who will be remembered for this, and a prayer for myself and others, that with whatever time we have remaining we would be more like this:

VERSE:
Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you,
brother, have refreshed the hearts of the saints.
-- Philemon 1:7

THOUGHT:
Wouldn't this description of Philemon be a great one to have
said about you! To be loved, supported, and encouraged by an
encourager is to have your heart refreshed and your attitude
lifted. Let's make a commitment to be an "encourager" who refreshes
the hearts of those around us this week.

PRAYER:
Tender and loving God, thank you for leading the people into my
life who have encouraged me when I most needed it. Please give me
the eyes to see and the heart to serve those around me who
desperately need my encouragement. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Dear Enemy

A great thing about being home is rediscovering books that have been long time, well re-read favourites.

Two such of these are by Jean Webster - Dear Enemy & Daddy Long-Legs. Highly recommended if you're up for a light but entertaining read.

In other news, Emma following our morning walk and game of ball, is now reclining outside my door 2 feet from me (see Dad - I haven't let her inside :) blissfully entertaining some doggy dreams.... oh no - there she goes - an interesting scent on the breeze has tweaked her nose and off she goes to investigate! Now she's back - tail wagging to see if I want to play more ball... and I think I do.

Borrowing Emma

One of the biggest "culture shocks" in returning to Australia is feeling unsafe. Not only in and around town (for instance, an old man of 81 years of age who is completely blind was mugged in broad daylight yesterday with his wallet being stolen), but also within my house. It seems that there is a trend for street kids to wander into houses (when they're occupied) and take what they want, terrorising the people living inside. Living in Hong Kong I hardly ever, if ever, feared for my safety, and it is aggravating to experience this once more - not being able to walk by myself at night, or needing to lock all my doors even when I'm inside.

With this in mind, I had a wakeful night worrying about being alone in the house for a week whilst my parents are in Canberra (which is SO annoying as usually I love being home alone)... my mom (who turned 60 today!) suggested that I do what she does when home alone - Borrow Emma!

So I've borrowed Emma - the most adorably friendly and good natured Labrador dog that you could ever meet. Perhaps not much of a guard dog but certainly great company. She's the Rodger's dog, but was holidaying with Janelle and Anthony whilst they're in the USA, and I popped down for a visit to their beautiful home to pick her up.

I drove back the long way through the dwindling twilight and must have massacred a host of bugs who's remains are littered along the bonnet and windscreen of my car as memoirs of their lives - pesky in life, and pesky in death... so not looking forward to cleaning them off!

She's now settled in quite comfortably on the back porch and was a very happy girl when I returned from Dana and Jason's tonight (dinner - a rushed vegetable and chicken mango yogurt cus cus - and then a Play Station game called Buzz). It is nice to come home to someone - even if they do lick and slobber over you :)

In other news, a lovely couple have given me some money to settle in and spoil myself with... I've decided to use it to visit a coffee shop a day as long as it lasts. I've found that taking a bit of time just to myself (probably less of a concern now that the house is empty!) has been one of the best things to do...

I'll blog on each of the places soon, as well as giving a description of Toowoomba for those who have yet to visit our picturesque township.

Darkness and Light by Geoff Bullock...

Darkness and Light

Lord of the brokenhearted,
the sad, the shamed and the cast down
draw us nearer
as we draw near to you.
may our hope
not be in vain
or our trust disappointed.
Let our failing hearts
be comforted
and our troubled minds reassured.

Isn't that a beautiful prayer? As is a thought also by Geoff Bullock listed on another of his blogs, "The foundation of our faith is not the things that we do. It is entirely about the things that He has done. There is nothing notable about our love for God, however His love for us is absolutely miraculous."

I take comfort in both of these thoughts tonight - these and the reminder of warm sun on my back and the smell of wood smoke on the fresh breeze as I enjoyed a Devonshire Tea in Highfields this afternoon.

Funny Days

Dad dragged me out of the house today to go down to our Church's Schoolyard Blitz (a working bee where we didn't have a church service but did maintenance and cleaning at a local public school). It was quite overwhelming seeing everyone, especially all the new couples and marrieds, and I didn't stay long. What was hilarious though was the Bible verse in the newsletter for the week:

Leviticus 23:3 "There are six days when you may work; but the seventh day is a Sabbath of rest, a day of sacred assembly. You are not to do any work; wherever you live, it is a Sabbath to the Lord."

I don't know if it was a genuine oversight, or someone's sneaky joke but it did put a smile back on my face.

What the??

After a delightful lunch at Two Birds with Dana and Liz, I was dropping Lizzy back to work when we were stopped by a train! A normal circumstance for some but after 2 years without such situations it was a photo worthy moment. In hindsight though, I remember when we were in Canada counting the carriages attached to the engine and got well over 200 one time... this was only a wee one at about 15.

On another note, it's been raining here for the past 4 days (thank God) and walking in town the past few days I've been struck by something lacking... Umbrellas! Where in Hong Kong people would pull out umbrellas for the gentlest sprinkle, I haven't seen one yet! We're a tough mob here in Toowoomba :)

"Surreal, but Nice"

Being back in Australia is surreal, surreal but nice as Hugh Grant would say... driving around streets that haven't changed, dressing in my coat for 9 degree weather during the day, waking up in the middle of the night to pitch black darkness and no sound of the streets, seeing friends and having a beer or wine with dinner.

One of the big culture shocks so far has been my job hunt. On Monday when I arrived home I stood in line at Centrelink (our local welfare organisation) to register for NewStart, a job seeker's allowance. For the first time in a long time I found myself in a line full of unemployed people with unpleasant body odour and grubby clothes, not as an observer but one in the same position (my clothes were clean though and I hope I didn't smell!). It was an interesting experience and one that made me realise, perhaps, how snobbish I've become being a white skin in a land that respects that fact. It was a great reminder though that everyone is important, regardless of background or current circumstance, and I have no place in being prideful.

Yesterday I had a typing test when registering with a temp agency and was stoked that even without my glasses and reading from a sheet of paper (not how I'm used to typing) I was above 65 WPM.

Today though was the greatest shock to my system... the Australian Government will pay me for 12 weeks while I don't have a job, without needing to commit to a job hunt or applying for a certain number of jobs per week. With all the bad things we hear about governments this was a fact that made me recognise how fortunate I am to be an Australian.

It was an interesting time this afternoon, even aside from that astounding fact. The first of two interactions was chatting to a bloke sitting next to me at Mission Australia for about 15 minutes. who was from, shall we say, quite a different background. His name was Stephen, a homegrown Toowoomba man, late 20's early/30's who has no desire whatsoever to get a job: a good conversationalist whom I admit I'd be more than happy not to meet again. Not that he was unpleasant, more so that he was intrusive, perhaps he was just gregarious, but I was uncomfortable. His grandmother was a missionary for 25 years and this past week he went to the Seventh Day Adventist church where there were a lot of nice people, but said its been a long time since he's met anyone decent. He encouraged a younger man (who had a job and was waiting for his partner) who he was familiar with that there wasn't enough crime and that the dole was great.

It was fascinating that he asked during our conversation if I was religious or not. I replied that while I wasn't religious per say (a term that can be defined as "bondage") I was a Christian. I was intrigued by the interaction which followed this, especially with the other bloke saying as he left the conversation and the building that Jesus really wasn't in to religion either, just look at the sacking of the temple. Made me take a step back and very thankful for the work of a few friends that reach out to street kids and the less fortunate in Toowoomba whom I'm fairly sure might have had some impact on this young man's life. Stephen, with his opinionated statements, was apparently open to reconsidering his views... he commented on Jesus committing suicide, and conceded that suicide and sacrificing your life (as one might for a mate in war) were two different things, and maybe the thought was wrong... anyway - it was an interesting dialogue.

The second stranger I had a lot of interaction with was my Advisor, Cherie. Early 20's with a 9 month old child she was eager as anything to learn and find out what I've been doing, how it affected me and why anyone would want to live in a strange place not earning money. While the questions she asked were personal (some incredibly so) I didn't feel confronted as I did when Stephen asked similar ones, or perhaps even when friends would. Our last interaction was when I drove back to sign a form she forgot about and we chatted about all manner of things from pubs to clothing envy - she liked my skirt (under AUD2) and I liked her shoes (a "bargain" for AUD75!!!! ouch!).

I mention these things for the fascinating observation that I can communicate with local people once more. It's novel, and can have its downside, but it's also great.

I do want to blog on my final weeks in Hong Kong, and hopefully won't leave it too long, but did want to share these reflections whilst they were fresh.


P.s. Isn't my niece beautiful??!??

bit by bit

I spent the evening doing my least favourite task of the packing process... consolidating and sorting the bits and pieces - the draws of "stuff", some of which I'd never give away, some which are special products that I've been saving just because they're too special to use frequently, and some items that in reflection are simply... junk! Thrown in a drawer or on a desk because I didn't know quite what to do with them at the time, or with hindsight I see them for the trinkets they are.

The task was made much easier though by the presence of one of Australia's premier singer song writers, Helen Mottee. It was such a pleasure to have Helen sit and keep me company though arduous process and I'm so very thankful! It was almost as good as having my mom here helping me through the task.

I'm left though with the question of what to do with sentimental items I simply can't take home. an empty bottle of wine and a bouquet of (now dried) flowers for a birthday gift. my bonsai. two years of life, and notes and survival - I'm getting rather ruthless but I'm still and always will be a keepsake and mathom holder.

Celebrating the Victories

Today I set myself the task of packing my two bags for the plane which would consist of sorting through, folding and packing my clothes. Yes, two bags just for clothes - but for those who know me getting it down to just two has been quite a feat!

Summer and Winter wardrobes combined, along with two dressing gowns, coats, stuffed animals and a pillow - I looked at the pile beside which covered my whole bed and wondered HOW would it be done!!!

Bit by bit I fit the bulk into the first bag - alas not the big bag I brought stuff over in, but a smaller one which Mom left with me when she took the daddy one home.

A small victory was achieved with the inclusion of many articles, but when I looked at the remainder I had no idea how they would fit into my small back pack (it looks deceptively large but I can pack it full just for a weekend trip).

My animals suffered first with the assistance of a vacuum bag - thanks Flatty Marnie :) - which also helped downsize my dressing gowns, biggest coat and the sweater Mom knitted for Dad when they first got married (sweet I know - only he doesn't wear it and I've pinched it).

SUCCESS was achieved much to my delight and exhaustion, with the addition of my sleeping bag attached to my Macpac.

So here's celebrating victories large and small.

P.s. If you should wonder how I'm getting non-clothing items home... answer is: carry on baggage, and 2 boxes being posted (one already packed!!!)

P.S.S. Yes, I'll be looking very daggy for the next two weeks! I've packed all my clothes and will be wearing items I'm not packing!!! But I've still got my shoes :)

Skype is Down!

SkypeOut, SkypeIn, Skype Voicemail, Skype SMS
All working normally.

Security alerts. All working normally.

Central contact list. All working normally.

Sign in and registration. Problems with Skype login.

Peer-to-peer network core. Problems with Skype login.

Skypecasts. All working normally.

Your Account and payments. All working normally.

Web and download servers. All working normally.

It's amazing how attached I've become to the technology of Skype, and how disconnected from the world I felt when I couldn't log on today.

a broken heart is never fun


----------------
Now playing: Coldplay - What If
via FoxyTunes

The Assumption of Mary

Today was the Assumption of Mary celebrating the passage of Mary, the mother of Jesus, from earth to heaven. I'd never heard of this before, but was encouraged by the reflection based upon 1 Corinthians 15 stating that "If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied.", but that it's NOT so, we do have hope beyond this life, and that hope, which is the same as so many others who have passed before us, is not futile.

The reflection asked us to think of speaking to Mary, what would we ask her? What would we ask other people that have died, who would we want to speak to? What were our thoughts on death?

It was interesting pondering as I've always had a bit of an abhorrence of death - I like living. As much as I can grumble I don't want to die, and I certainly don't want my friend or family to... but again, it comes down to trust. Faith. Hope. We are not to be pitied, and my hope in Christ and life beyond this living is not futile - I don't understand it, I don't know what it will be like, but I do believe in it.

In other news I've just spent the past 4 hours renewing my CV and writing my first real (i.e. addressing selection criteria) job application in 5 years! Aiyahh... Back to the real world soon!!!

I love Widgets!

I was on a website today and saw the following widget:

http://babystrology.com/tickers/

A Baby Ticker!! Just so all your friends and family can know just how developed your bub is and when it's due... how cool is that!

I did find a link to further widgets so stay tuned for an updated blog page! Great for moments of procrastination where I'm sick of packing!

I'm Published!!!

For the first time ever one of my photos was requested for publication today!

While it's only on the slide-show on a small story in NowPublic, it was still quite cool to be asked for permission to use it.

In other news, I'm leaving Hong Kong in 3 weeks, I've yet to book my ticket, my mom might be coming over to help me (YEAH), and I have much more than 3 weeks worth of work to do.

Googling

I hoped to get a bit more sleep last night after working the day, alas, it was not so! 3am dawned and by 4 despite my mind's protestations I was wide awake.

The result after some productive newsletter folding was this:

"Elizabeth Grace Shaw was born on 16 May 1904 in Floyd County, Virginia. She died on 4 Nov 1971 in Madison County, Alabama."

3am thoughts

Since arriving back in Hong Kong on Friday I've been wide awake from about 3am each morning. As my mind is in overdrive I've found myself listening to sermons or surfing the web to pass the time (although this morning I've almost finished my final newsletter which was quite productive).

In my late night web browsing I've found myself once more disheartened by disillusionment as I've read articles and news sites on all manner of topics, but primarily current events and Hillsong. I was reminded by Uncle Phil's blog though as he quoted Bonhoeffer that we are all sinners, and so to judge anyone is not only wrong (after all God should be the only judge) but often hypocritical.

So... with that in mind, and the thought that I stand on the knife edge of hypocrisy, I share with the www that I don't like main stream happy clappy Christianity. I identify with the words of Geoff Bullock where he says:

I’d like the word worship to go out of our vernacular and that (instead) we would enjoy our musical arts as an expression of faith, an expression of celebration, a creative expression of grace but when we thought of (God’s) outworking in our lives, we thought of rolling our sleeves up and getting committed to physically meeting needs and to loving people and accepting people and allowing God to reveal Himself to them...I’d love to see an inclusiveness where this whole culture was broken down. I’d love to hear people sing but not striving to have a spiritual experience in it

I love to sing and praise God in that, but I'm not a fan of worship per say any more in the P&W sense. I don't like being judged on my performance in Christianity, I don't think we should be, although it's all to easy to fall into this trap. How loud we sing, if we pray out loud, outward indications of an inward relationship to which only God can really see.

In reading through many articles, I've paralleled the time with listening to some sermons by Malcolm Smith on Christ's grace and acceptance (the specific series I'm listening to is entitled "spiritual burnout - the road to recovery"). In this series he states that we must take a serious look at our belief system, and that the promises of the Gospel are incapable of burnout. Looking through the Epistles of Paul, he speaks of a key phrase that runs throughout and that if you were to take those phrases out, there would be very little left in Paul's exposition of the Gospel, with the one that puts it most succinctly being Ephesians 2: 4-7 (I've included a bit more):

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.

He speaks on how our relationship with Christ should be founded on these words. Never in what we do, but always coming back to how we are in Christ Jesus, and the blood covenant he made for us. He goes on to expound on these words and how there is nothing that we have as a believer, except in Christ, and from that outworks our Christianity.

I guess listening to him I feel fairly overwhelmed, reasonably confronted, and in some ways simply angry. I know I'm in the process and have been for some months of experiencing the wonder of Grace, but it's a scary thing to know that there is NOTHING that I can do myself. That we must Trust and Obey, and there really is no other way.

I find myself confronted as I know I haven't been living in Christ's mercy and grace nor outworking that in a true sense (although thankfully Christ has still worked through me regardless of my motives or inner fears). I find myself overwhelmed by the attitude shift and change I want to go through, but scared because it becomes much more about trust then works, and fear has become a friend that I need to say goodbye to. I find myself angry because of teaching which is and has been so prevalent that many of us who have been in the faith for so long might not even have the basics right.

A couple of months ago I came across this verse in John 6 and have been really encouraged by it
on many occasions, I find it once again applicable to my thoughts:

28 Then they asked him, "What must we do to do the works God requires?"

29 Jesus answered, "The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent."

I think that verse just about sums up my pondering this morning.

Tea Tea Marvellous Tea

I'll be leaving HK in early September and as such have started to pack up 2 years of ... well, life!

I began the process this morning by sorting through my tea tins and making bags for girls on the team I work with (thinking of having a tea party of some sort time allowing). I counted my teas during this endeavour and they added up to 38!

How Delicious!

Simpsonize Liz!

Have you ever wondered what I would look like as a character on The Simpsons? Never? Not even once?
D'oh! Well, anyway, I would look like this:

Friendly Faces

I went out this morning to stock my fridge and bumped in to some very friendly faces. After a night with intermittent sleep following a transit period of over 27 hours which left way too much time for my overly analytical mind to obsess on issues it was a surprisingly pleasant thing.

And a "shout out" to the Lady Ads bearing thanks for interest in this blog and the thoughts of somewhere smiling :)

Back in my flat

Two weeks away it feels like the whole world should've changed
But I'm home now
And things still look the same
I think I'll leave it till tomorrow to unpack
Try to forget for one more night
That I'm back in my flat on the road
Where the cars never stop going through the night
To a life where I can't watch sunset
(Dido: Sand in My Shoes)

Photographic Evidence

We spent the weekend in Philadelphia and I must admit that never in my life have I enjoyed such luxury. The Rittenhouse Hotel was by far and away the most exceptional establishment it's ever been my experience to enjoy, and after wining and dining the weekend away I'm sure to have gained some weight, especially from the outstanding brunch we had at Lacroix where every bite was a delight.

After taking the train down Friday, Michelle, Cathy and I went to the township of Manayunk to enjoy the shopping there. While I didn't purchase anything it was fun to have a "day out with the girls" looking at and trying on various fabulous designer clothes. Relying on public transport, we had to wait for our cab to pick us up again later in the day (when he dropped us off he said we weren't likely to get another taxi easilly, so he could return at 6 - and thankfully he did as we would have been stuck without his help), after which we returned to the hotel and relaxed before heading out for the night. Unfortunately, Ian was held up in town with work and traffic but joined us later at Bookbinders. I ate a really lovely halibut fish caught not 24 hours earlier and a snapper soup (that's turtle!). We then headed back to the hotel for drinks at the bar and ended up closing out with the bartender and manager. A very enjoyable evening which I can honestly say I've not done anything like before. It was a fascinating thing to talk to complete strangers and be able to have genuine dialogue and connection (or watch this) with people of such varying backgrounds. There is so much I can learn and I really appreciated this interaction.

The next morning after a delightful sleep-in I went to the in-house gym and after mucking about on some of the state of the art machines decided to just float in the pool. Very few things beat floating :)

Ian and I headed out then to check out the historic sights and managed to get standby entry for free into the Independence Hall tour. I hear Ian talk so much about "freedom" and the right every person should have in this country to bear arms or live however they want. I admit I certainly didn't understand the context of his philosophy until this weekend. As an Australian, we never had a bloody war to fight for our independence. Yes, we had wars that we joined and an amazing ANZAC heritage of which I am truly proud, but never did farmers and soldiers join together to bear arms to change the constitution and rulership of our beloved home. America has, and did so on the basis that they didn't want to be told how to run their country by the English. Considering this heritage, the belief in the right to bear arms (even to fight against the government of the day should it not seek the best for its people), and the right of freedom of choice that these pioneers fought for, it is scary to witness the current state of politics here. The power is not with the people, but instead with a few which choose to limit the freedom of choice and decision that this country was founded upon. It was an understanding which I'm thankful for, but one that is disturbing to gain.

We headed to Chris's Jazz Cafe later that night after eating a HUGE meal at Smith and Wollensky's - the biggest steaks I've seen in my life (honestly - no veg on the plates.. just a chunk of meat). I've never heard much of Jazz, and I can't say what type of jazz I like in terms of categories.. but I liked the music that night and would gladly hear it again.

Worshipping at the Church of the Holy Trinity was also a service to remember on Sunday morning. A picture you can view here indicates the beauty of the interior, and I was blessed by the writing over the artwork "to the glory of God the Father, and to God the Son, and to God the Holy Ghost". To see a created work such as that and to in the viewing be reminded of the Trinity was a reminder not only of his gloriousness, but also of a sermon I heard 2 years ago that echoes in my head today - reminding us to work for the Glory of God, and how great he is. When men build structures to the glory of themselves through architecture to hold houses of finance, or real estate, or industry, people used to build cathedrals to be the house of God in that vicinity, to the glory of His name. The sermon was exceptional and I'm thankful for that time of fellowship.

I recognise that this has been a bit more of a diary entry of events over the weekend, but it keeps people in the loop and you can always email me or leave a comment if you want more info!

You might by this stage be wondering about the title of this blog though.. no photos yet? Well, I did take some but not too many as I've lost a bit of confidence in my camera recently after some photos with horrid lines through them (thankfully none in this batch though), and one of my biggest regrets from this trip was the lack of photographic evidence. Thankfully though, I came across this Flickr site which has many of the photos I would have loved to have taken - and with a great deal more artistry. Check it out, especially the Public Art set which is likely what I would have focused on (I do love bronze statues).

Back to Hong Kong this week after the holiday (experiencing holiday blues at the moment... I so don't want them to end!). I'm so thankful to God for making these past two weeks possible, and especially the family I'm staying with for all the extras which have once again exceeded my wildest imaginations.

What's Love Got To Do With It?

Yesterday I had the real pleasure of going to Sight and Sound's production on the Psalms of David, the most pleasurable aspect though, was not in fact the show, but rather mocking it with Michelle during and after.

At the intermission, she asked what I thought and to begin with, all I could think of was "culture shock". It was consumerist to the core and right from the beginning the desire to profit was evident. The prelude to the performance was a run through on each of the shows, and an invitation to "buy two of everything" at Noah's Ark Store (Click and then go to View Movie to see for yourself).

The first Act was interesting, with some scenes being reasonably enjoyable, a ballet dancer was very talented and there was a flautist who I really enjoyed - the rest though was tacky to the core - right from the Goliath whose arms bobbed on springs (hilarious) to the one particular actress whose exaggerated expressions were almost as nauseating as the scene where the African American slave Ezra talks how he managed through the tough times by reading his bible, or the inconsistency in morality between the ballet dancer wearing pants (not tights) under her skirt whilst in another scene the good Christians of the time preforming the Can Can...

The final straw though was when in a mistaken act of patriotism, the choir wearing blue robes walked reverently towards the cross draped in red and white. There was no mistaking the underscoring view, nor the desire to fleece more pockets on many future occasions, after all we were encouraged "why not make The Miracle of Christmas a family tradition?".

There was the obligatory alter call at the end of the production (for people to see the Ushers if they wished to make a commitment), and I have no doubt that some were truly impacted (the gentleman 2 seats down from us for instance was evidently worshipping in raising his hands on numerous occasions). I however, left the theatre wondering WHY? What was the purpose of this show? Was it to encourage the converted or was it some sort of evangelism? Call me cynical but when we exited out of the parking lot and drove 500 meters down the road to the Millennium Theatre (a 2,000 seating theatre with a 300 foot wrap around stage) which incorporates the largest moving light system on the East Coast of America, all I could see were $ signs.

I don't regret going, but I'm still wondering, "What's Love Got To Do With It?"

For another view please read: Charisma Magazine which interviews the founder of Sight and Sound

And if you're wondering, I'm having a GREAT holiday, just needed to expel the fundamentalist kitsch out of my system... perhaps exaggerated by pranging Ian's car today :(

The quandary of Trust

I’ve had a great couple of weeks since I last blogged, but have found myself confronted by the issue of Trust.

It seems to be a continuing theme lesson in my life, and one that’s rather exciting to work through as in reality, God who my trust is in is really always faithful – although it may not seem so at the time with his end goals often justifying the means through which He works.

I was in a group last fortnight where we were discussing young people in the Bible who had made a difference. We were supposed to choose one, and develop the theme with that person. Our group however ended up doing “a collage of trust”, with each person speaking out someone who trusted, and is known today due to that trust.

The Widow’s sons – The two boys in 2 Kings 4 who went around their village collecting empty jars for their mother to fill with oil. Certainly they understood the importance of the situation, and in that they trusted their mother and the prophet to go to every neighbour and get jars to be filled.

Hadassah (Esther) – Her trust in Mordecai and God, within exceptional circumstances as a young girl in the King’s palace.

Mary – someone shared that they were astounded recently when they heard that she would have only been 13 years old or so and not only trusted an angel and God, but also her betrothed and aunt, Elizabeth

The boy who gave up his lunch – for which Jesus used to feed 5,000

David – who as a young man used his tools of choice, being a rock and slingshot over Saul’s armour, trusted in his skill and his God to achieve the victory. David also trusted God in the timing of when he was to become king, when he could have taken it by force many times.

Hannah – who gave up her long awaited son as a gift back to God, and Samuel who said to God, “speak”

The list could go on and on, yet, even with this heritage, I confess I often waiver in my trust. I’m thankful that God is always faithful though, and he IS worthy of my trust. Other people are too.

I think it can come down to praying to God for His will to be done, not mine, and not anyone else’s.

His Will.

In that I also must place my trust, which means knowing more of his character. If God is Love, then I can and should trust him. If he did invent the concept of Grace, I would be foolish not to. I can’t control God, I should trust him, and I shouldn't commit the witchery of praying for my will over his.

What a journey we are on : ) What an Adventure!

Snow, Wind, Smoke, Bubbles, and Rain... all in one night in Hong Kong

Yes, it is true, in the course of one evening I (and others) experienced Snow, Wind, Rain, Bubbles, Smoke... and Perfume. Where you might ask? (Thinking especially of the snow). When I went to watch Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix!

We went to a 4D cinema located out near the airport, and it was such fun! We had smoke when the fireworks went off, wind when we were flying through the sky, perfume when someone sprayed excess amounts, snow and rain when the elements dictated, and bubbles to finish off the movie!

The movie itself was ok too : )

The screen also had more depth, but no red and blue glasses were required.

I'm a little intrigued though as to what the effects for Die Hard 4 will be when they start to show it later this month.

... I wonder if Toowoomba will get one?

Love and Vulnerability

Just before I left, my best friend Lynda gave me this quote. I look at it often, and it still resounds with me. I'm inspired to share it here as it encouraged a friend of mine today and it might encourage others.

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.

- C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves (1960), 138-39

WOW! Many letters!

It has been far too long since I last blogged, and while I have drafts written, just had to share on the plethora of letters I have just received from home!

I'm sooooo blessed by this HUGE pile and am looking forward to getting home and reading them!

(and thanks to Mom who I think organised these :)

Poor old shoe

I put on my trusty sandles this morning on my way out the door to go for a swim, and found to my shock and horror they'd broken! While having been wearing down for some time now they were still highly functional (although far from pretty) until the toe strap broke. Good for short walks still, unfortunately, based on a similar demise of some black sandles I got when last in Toowoomba, I deem them dangerous for day long wear.

I've had these shoes for a good 3 years now, and only bought them when I was at the coast due to my others giving me horrible blisters. I thought them terribly ugly but they were CHEAP, and soon grew on me. A bargain bin $20 buy has been one of those long time shopping successes... and I am sad.

Here's hoping Stanley tomorrow will provide a faithful replacement!!!


P.s. My two pairs of Docs though are still holding up strong after 7 & 5 years respectively, some of the only shoes that have survived HK without needing re-soling

P.s.s. Yes - a very boring blog I'll admit, but to honour these sandles less would be a travesty

My Day

After a late night I decided to skip the 9am service (leaving here at 7:45!!) and head to the 11 o'Clock instead which was very lively by comparison indeed. I was almost shocked when the pianist ran his down down the keys during one of the more exuberant choruses... mind you, to put it in perspective, the song was a 70's classic and the only instruments were the piano, an organ and a small choir. It makes me wonder how on earth I'll cope fitting back into my church back in Toowoomba where the service I attended while back home on holiday last year began with some of the youth leading stretching exercises so that we could all "limber up" for the praise and worship...!

Following the service I joined a small group of girls that I've recently met at St Andrews for a Vietnamese meal. It's been a while since I've had a meal with such banter and laughter around the table. I declined an offer afterwards to go shoe shopping (although I did admit to shoe envy of Kirsten's sandles...) and instead went window shopping to discover if Ian would get a Fabio Caviglia tie for Christmas that I saw displayed whilst using the Peninsula's lavatory the other week (see blog below). After a search through the Peninsula's arcade, I hopped over to Harbour City and finally found the displayed items... for HDK2,900 a pop! Sorry Ian... no wonder I liked them! (yes, that was 1 tie for about AUD450, but they were stunning)

Whilst browsing through Harbour City I grabbed a loaf of bread and a mango juice from the bakery and stood listening to the free concert being given. It was amazing standing there listening to this very talented gentleman play, and then watching him ask for requests and play the tune (sometimes after listening to how it actually went on someone's mobile phone).

I walked through Kowloon Park on the way home, realised that we've got 418 days until the Beijing Olympics and hopped on the mini bus home.

After two phone calls, I'm lying on my bed, typing this and listening to Talking Life on 96.5.

A FABULOUS DAY :)

... BTW - long weekend, hoping for a lazy day tomorrow and going to go to the dragon boat races on Tuesday at Stanley... hopefully I'll remember my camera...

A Joke!

I'm working from home today ailing from one of Hong Kong's random stomach bugs which require proximity to home comforts (probably too much information?) anyway... My mom left a message asking me to ring home, and when I did Dad told me a joke... very unlike dad (the joke that is) but I'm still laughing at it, not really because it's that funny, but because my staid and responsible father told it (and said he really didn't just say that afterwards!):

Why is PMS called PMS?
Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken

A Lovely Visit

I just had a wonderful "visit" and cup of tea with Laura who's down from Shanghai for 2 weeks. It reminded me of how much I love a sit and a great cup of tea (loose leaf served in fine bone china of course!) which is only enhanced by a good old chat and catch up.

It was really encouraging too, and I was very much blessed with her simple, heartfelt statement that she believes God's got some really exciting things ahead of me. With my distinct lack of trust in him, it was nice to know that I truly am in safe and caring hands.

... dreaming more of opening up a tea shop...

Weather Forecast for this week!!!

8/6 (FRIDAY)	9/6 (SATURDAY)	10/6 (SUNDAY)	11/6 (MONDAY)	12/6 (TUESDAY)
Cloudy with scattered showers and thunderstorms. Showers will be heavy at times.	Overcast with heavy rain and thunderstorms.	Overcast with heavy rain and thunderstorms.	Scattered showers with thunderstorms.	Scattered showers with thunderstorms.
Southwest force 4 to 5.	South to southwest force 4.	South to southeast force 3 to 4.	South force 3 to 4.	Southwest force 4.
25 - 30	25 - 28	25 - 28	25 - 29	25 - 29
85 - 95	85 - 95	85 - 95	85 - 95	80 - 95

and it continues on just like this!!!

... we're not in Kansas anymore...

Having lived in Hong Kong almost two years now I have become quite accustomed to the little oddities that surround me. It's normal.

As I'm going to be leaving though in 3 months my eyes are opening up to the things that really startled me when I first came here - Take this picture for instance, it's 32 degrees outside with 60% humidity and after doing washing and a bit of pottering I'm hiding away in air-conditioning and a summery dress sweating, and people are wandering around outside dressed like this whippersnippering the lawn, cleaning rubbish, sweeping paths!!! Seems strange not to see the whipper-snipper accompanied by the boots, stubbies and Bonds Singlet.

Yesterday on the the bus home, I saw a man surrounded by rubbish getting out from swimming in the polluted shipping channel that leads into the Tsuen Wan harbour. (I almost got off the bus at the next stop to take a photo, and am regretting my refraining)

Or this photo from when Barb Bluett visited and we snuck into the Peninsula to use their flash (and WONDERFUL) toilets. Next to the Rolls is a car decked out for a wedding... yup... look closely and you'll see Hello Kitty toys stuck to the bonnet parked outside one of the most prestigious hotels in HK.

Tonight I'm heading into town with Debbie to grab a Fullers Organic HoneyDew and I'm looking forward to seeing more of this delightful City State.

I'm going to miss Hong Kong!

Perspective

I have a skewed perspective. I often think the worst situation will happen, or that someone who has always been faithful will be unfaithful. That I will let people down or that people won’t “perform” as I’d expect and I’ll be disappointed.

No matter how history has proved otherwise, I still doubt, not only others and myself but also God.

It’s a wrong perspective, and one I want to fix, but I know I can’t alone. It’s there for whatever reason and I need God, by his Grace to change my perspective. Part of the reason I know is tied into the fear I hold on to in my life, partly because it’s always nicer to think the worst and then be surprised by something better, and in many ways I think its also part of my perception of God.

It's a damaging habit though, and one I'm not proud of.

I know that God is loving. I know that he is patient. I know that he is generous. I know that he won’t give a stone when we ask for bread. I know from my privileged Western background he’s always been faithful. I know that he invented the concept of Grace. I still resent some of the challenges though, and I question this image of God when I see the tragedy so many go through, and I struggle with the “problem of pain”… or famine… or war.

I still think at times that God will let me go. That he won't run after the 100th sheep, that he won't welcome the Prodigal Son.

In light of this ongoing battle, lack of trust and abundance of insecurity I was really encouraged by this song of Matt and Beth Redman’s, along with the story behind it:

You Never Let Go (Even Though I Walk)

Verse 1:
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
Your perfect love is casting out fear.
And even when I'm caught
in the middle of the storms of this life,
I won't turn back, I know You are near.

PreChorus:
And I will fear no evil,
For my God is wi th me.
And if my God is with me,
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Chorus:
Oh no, you never let go,
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, you never let go,
In every high and every low
O no, you never let go
Lord, you never let go of me.

Verse 2:
And I can see a light
that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare.
And there will be an end
to these troubles, But until that day comes,
We'll live to know You here on the earth.

Bridge:
Yes, I can see a light that is coming
for the heart that holds on,
And there will be an end to these troubles,
but until that day comes,
Still I will praise You,
still I will praise You.

©2005 Thankyou Music (Admin. by EMI Christian Music Publishing)

Listen to this song here:

http://chrisleigh.vox.com/library/audio/6a00cd97014dcc4cd500d41424e8ae3c7f.html

An interview with Matt Redman covering this song can be found at:

http://www.christianitytoday.com/music/interviews/2007/mattredman-mini-0207.html

YUM!

I spent the weekend in bed with a cold (that's right! Poor Liz!) but it was actually a good thing because I went out and bought enough fruit to make a HUGE fruit salad that I, and my roomie Marnie are still eating. (Watermelon, Mango, Strawberry, Blueberry, Apple, Banana, Apricot - Yup, there's some GREAT things about living in Hongkas)

I kept out of the fruit salad this nectarine, my first of the season and bit into it when I came back from work today... WOW! Few things beat that first Nectarine of the season (or Cherry, or Mango, or Lychee... mmmm....)

Yes, I'm gloating over my fruit magnificence!

Peace

This evening, after sudden notification on Thursday night that his ticket might not be able to be changed, my boyfriend Ian flew out of Hong Kong, back home to the USA.

It's been a incredibly difficult working this decision through, and finding peace in it, and then challenging that peace, and then finding it, and then being selfish and wishing it wasn't so, and then finding that Peace again come back.

That peace is firmly with me now, as it was after I shed a few tears and hugged him through that gate. I'll miss him, I'm sad, but that peace is there. Peace doesn't take away the emotion I'm finding, but brings comfort in it. I have a choice whether to find rest in it, or focus on the emotions, and while I'm tempted immensely to wallow, my desire is to rest.

I have two scriptures running through my head, the first is Isaiah 55: 8-9

"My thoughts are completely different from yours," says the Lord. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."

and Numbers 6:24-26

The LORD bless thee and keep thee; the LORD make His face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee; the LORD lift up His countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.

I know this post has been more personal than a lot of others, naming names and a specific circumstance, but I wanted to share it in an effort to be honest, and also to be able to look back on this as a reminder of the peace God brings in right decisions, regardless of other emotions.

The gate closed 4 minutes ago and in 16 a plane will depart from Hong Kong to London from where in 13 hours it will deposit its passengers for 5 hours prior to taking off for its final destination of Philadelphia (landing 8 hours after). On Wednesday the thought of this plane had never crossed my mind, now it is very much in my thoughts and heart.

I’m interested in Nakedness.

Not nakedness in the bodily sense (although I bet the title made you think!), rather, nakedness in being open, honest and transparent.

Searching to be real.

Inside myself, to myself and then out of that, to others. The same line of thought that to be able to give, we must be in a place that is able TO give: To give a man a glass of water, one must first have water to give, in continuance, to be real to others, I must first be real with myself.

I am far from having the answers, or from being honest with myself about all motives, or living a life of transparency, but I think that’s ok… it’s a process, much like undressing. That process must be guided by God, through his word and through Godly counsel, but it must take place.

I also think, in this formative stage, that whilst a vulnerable place, it should bring freedom and life – not only to yourself but also to others. After all, Christ came that we might have LIFE and live it in abundance - and through that glorify Him.

I’d be interested in your thoughts

Also – check out this site. I think the best Blog I’ve seen. http://nakedpastor.com/

By the way, I was talking with someone about their experience with their firstborn’s birth. They said that whilst it was soon forgotten with the joy of meeting his little one, the stench was horrid. I like the parallel that in order to birth the nakedness in us, and go through the transition to new and complete Life, we must go through some fairly stinky patches!!!

A Great Gift!

My brother Steve sent me this book that arrived in the mail today.

Reminded me of something that I used to be quite passionate about (book collecting) and was a real encouragement. Steve - it really was a perfect fit.

A Season for Everything

This past month has been one of a realisation of seasons.

A TIME TO GROW

I have been challenged in this season in painful ways, but through this I am so thankful that through Godly wisdom and care I have grown and been guided. May God continue to grow me!

A TIME TO MOURN

There is a time to die. Unfortunately, it has been a time to remember that life is fleeting, and often there is nothing we can do.

A TIME TO LAUGH

It has also been a time for rejoicing from afar about weddings and births. Congratulations Janelle and Anthony, and Will and Ness – respectively may your new and growing families be blessed.

A TIME FOR REFLECTION

Sometimes the greatest thing we need is space, to be alone and give yourself room to reflect… I’d add with a cup of tea close by :)

A TIME TO WEEP

Yes, that too!

A TIME TO DANCE

My Dad sent me an awesome article on Guidance which I’d love to pass on to anyone. The basic angle of it though was guidance is simply God directing us, much like a male leads the female in dance. God, U & I Dance. He leads, I follow, but it’s gentle and loving and full of his character being evident.

A TIME TO EXPLORE

…and in doing so found the most amazing beer! If you ever get a chance to drink Fuller’s Organic Honey Dew go for it (excepting religious or health intolerance of course!)

A TIME TO CHALLENGE

Not all you hear or have fed into your life is profitable. I have learnt in this past month that some things needs to be challenged, and even if you don’t speak out your disagreement, know what and why you believe, and be willing to challenge yourself, and ask the hard questions. This in itself has been, and continues to be a major learning curve.

A TIME TO APPRECIATE

My Parents are the most amazing parents in the world. Through this season of challenge I have only grown in respect, admiration and love for them and their wisdom.

A TIME TO BAKE

I’m continuing to put my new pie dish to good use, Phil and Sue have now consumed their Beef and Guinness Pie *grin*

A TIME FOR FUN

I highly recommend anyone go and see Miss Potter and Ian would highly recommend all see Spiderman 3!

I could go on and on with things and events from this past month, I will refrain however, and simply say that above and beyond all else I have been reminded that God is GOD, and we are to trust in him, not martyring ourselves, but asking him to guide us gently just as he knows how, through whatever he leads us through…

And if you are praying for me, a prayer request would be that I would start (and continue) to dream again.

Flowering Bonsai!

Yup... not only have I not killed the bonsai but I woke this morning to find it flowering!!!

I've been having dreams about waking up and finding it shrivelled and dead, so to find it not only alive but thriving was a very pleasing thing.

(photo appearing soon)